what am i to do???

So i know my friends wouldn’t miss me if i killed myself cuz one of them said she would laugh if i did and she would not go to my funneral… you have no clue how sad that made me. when she said that I wanted to go cry and bury myself under a mound of dirt and just lay there for the rest of my life. So i told my older sister about how my friends are always kinda mean to me and saying stuff they think is funny about my fails when they know i have been through so much and she told off my friends and I was like that is so nice… but anyway my friends are never around for me especially when i need them and Im really bad at making new friends cuz they judge me by the fact im a emo hippie(yes emo hippies exsist) so what am i to do? My friends don’t care how i end up so who does???