I wish I could expres myself better. It’s not only a language thing I think. I wouldnt know what to write if I was writing in Dutch either.
I dont even know what I want anymore, other than kill myself of course. That really is the only desire I still have left.
I know its lame but all I really want right now is for someone to hold me. Its been a very long time since someone gave me a hug.
Edit: someone just asking how I’m doing would be fine too, it doesnt have to be a hug.
9 comments
So I didn’t really help after all. How disappointing.
You’re not lame – you’re human.
Well, I’m sorry for dissapointing you, I didnt mean to.
I ask myself the question in your title so often, it haunts me in a way. I’d give you a hug if I could :3 I know you said that the only thing you want is to commit suicide but everyone wants something else besides that. Whatever it is, it might be worth living for so think about it. In the end, what you do is your choice, I wish you the best.
No, you didn’t. Although, I wish you had argued with me after all. I had clearly gotten it wrong.
I’ve really got nothing to say at this point that wouldn’t sound like a cliché. Maybe somebody else can come up with something.
@Verum, Well like I said there wasnt anything to argue. You are probably right. And I am just a vey negative person, so enjoying my breakfast isnt something I usually do (mostly because I dont like breakfast). And, you were trying to help, I do appreciate it.
And I dont expect you to say anything, I dont expect anyone to do that actually. Its (I’m) just a waste of time.
But like I said, thanks for trying to make me feel better.
@messi, there isnt anything else for me. What else do you desire? thanks for responding btw, I just read your post as well. I hope you get what you want.
You have to have a dream, everyone does, even if it’s not all that realistic people want or desire something important in their life. It’s part of what makes us human, we all die eventually, and you might want to die but there must be something you’ve wanted at one time or another while you’re alive. I want to be free from my depression and fall in love, 95% of me wants to die but it doesn’t change the fact that I wish I could experience those things.
Nobody is a ‘waste of time’ – everything you do has an affect somewhere in the world. It sounds like you need a vacation, a chance to step away from what is going on in your life. is there anyone who might let you stay somewhere for a while – a relative for example? I felt like you do and someone arranged for me to stay with an elderly aunt by the sea. I didn’t know her very well, but she still took me in for a short holiday and it gave me the space, time and the opportunity to clear my head and put things into perspective.
@messi, well ,idk if being free from a depression is possible when in love. I am still in love with my ex which made me fall back into a depression after he dumped me. But yeah it would be vey nice indeed to have a normal loving relationship with someone. For me, i just dont see it happen. Im too fucked up. I wish you all the luck in finding it though!
@Lady E, Well I do consider myself as such. Yeah youre probably right. I was already thinking about it. I just dont have a place to go.
well, heb je nog een knuffel nodig of niet? 🙂