I don’t go to church, I haven’t since I was a little girl. That being said, I believe in God with all my might. The other night I was extremely scared, the next day at school my assistant principal, teacher, and I were supposed to have a meeting to discuss my eating disorder and problems, they were panning on calling my parents because they said they had to. I want to get better and knew there was nothing I could do about it, but I was so terrified.
Scared of disappointing my parents again.
Scared of not being able to lie my way out.
Scared of the truth.
Scared of who I have become.
Scared to face the facts.
Scared of hurting other people.
Scared of people knowing I am not perfect.
Scared of knowing if I continue I am slowly killing myself.
Scared of trusting adults.
Scared of showing emotion.
Scared of being misunderstood.
Scared of not being strong enough.
Scared that I messed things up too much.
SCARED OF EVERYTHING.
As I laid in bed sobbing, thinking about how my parents would hate me. How I’m not perfect enough for them, how I had to get out of this somehow, I prayed. I don’t pray often, but I didn’t know what else to do. I told Him I would be strong and I knew everything happened for a reason, I said I was so scared but I knew he was answering my prayer from a few days before, when I begged for help. Finally, I asked Him for a sign everything would be okay. I waited for a moment, but nothing happened. Defeated, I thanked God for my life and went to sleep. The next morning, on my way to school (I am 17) a song came on the radio I had never heard before. It’s called Little Miss by Sugarland. That was my sign… I’m going to be alright 🙂 I was amazed, I still am.But please, go look up that song, I swear just listening to it calms me down!
1 comment
Happy you found a song that gives inspiration.