I am a Christian, but struggling with these suicidal thoughts and deep depression has made me wonder why God is allowing me to suffer this way. I’ve contemplated all the possible answers- He is preparing me to help others, to make me depend on Him more, etc, but right now I just feel overwhelmed with my feelings and I am angry! I have so many friends who don’t believe in God and are much happier than I am- they do whatever they feel like doing and enjoy their lives. Why would God allow people to suffer so much without any glimmer of hope? It seems cruel.
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I do not believe in God. Moreover, I believe that if God does happen to exist- firstly, I am fucked in the afterlife, and secondly, he is a sadist. But I do not condemn those who believe (two of my housemates are Christians) because I think that I would be far much more relaxed and happy if I had some kind of eternity to believe in. As it stands, however, I cannot overcome how fictional the entire Christian religion is.
Henceforth, my thoughts:
-If God is so ‘forgiving’, Hell would not exist. Too, mankind would not have been eternally punished for Original Sin (as written in Genesis)
-If God is so ‘loving’, suffering would not exist. The fluxating amounts of suffering which seem to take place amongst believers and non-believes alike demonstrates disparity
-Beliefs about God are not static; they are crafted by various time periods. For example, the Institution of Purgatory was founded in 1274 as a means of keeping people attached to the Church
-God is not self-evident; and if this is so the true believers will be able to ascend to Heaven through blind faith, whereas everyone else burns in Hell for eternity. This just seems contradictory to me whereby faith cannot be gained simply by observation of nature (as Aristotle believed), but by human contact. Thus, God only exists in human terms.
I genuinely do not want to offend anyone, because I wholly respect your need to believe in God. But I simply cannot because there are too many questions that need answering.
But Lanfear- happiness does not come with ignorance of God, I do not expect, because I can hardly say I am happy. Happiness probably comes through ignorance of the inevitability of death in life. Unfortunately I am not that ignorant to have gotten to that stage yet.
Aiden, ‘Crusifiction’ – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nA5IVkAE568
I apologise profusely for posting this, Lanfear, because you are asking for understanding, and not anti-Christian sentiment. But reading the original post, this song immidiately came to mind. Plus, I love Aiden 🙂 wiL is a bit blatant about his views in this song… but some people on this website might like it, as I do. Hence the link. Plus, everyone loves clicking on links. Because there’s always the chance of cookies at the other end*.
*There are no cookies, either edible or internet-related, in the above link. Sorry, folks.