I haven’t done anything yet but I’m about to either cut really deep or go down some meds. I need help from anyone. Please I just need to talk. If I don’t comment back, either my iPod is taken away or my panic attack may get the best of me. Please someone talk to me. I need the distraction or I might not be here tomorrow…
8 comments
Just start by breathing, deeply.
Do a search, look for a post I wrote on here called:
the Plan
Do good things for yourself, help yourself to feel better.
You can do it!
When you get a chance it might help to talk about what’s been happening lately.
Peace.
Im here, you can talk to me. Don’t lose it, trust me, you’ll regret it later. I speak from personal experiences. My suggestion is (sorry if this is totally beyond your morals) if you know anyone with weed, smoke some. It helps, and it’s not a drastic drug. One high won’t kill you, or really do anything, and it might save you from hurting yourself or someone else….
If that’s beyond your morals, go find a cat or dog or some other small furry creature to hug, zone out with tv or bubble shooter (it numbs your mind so well)….
That’s only if you can’t find someone to talk to, which Ill be, sorry idk why i didnt offer that in the first place..
I’ve smoked weed with my sister a few times but 1) she keeps it at Zoes and 2) my sister isn’t someone that can know that I’m having problems right now.
Weed doesn’t really do anything to me. At all :/ I know-odd. I did calm down a tiny bit now that I got spending a few min with my grandma out of the way. Maybe later I’ll look for something to watch on netflix from my iPod. I never watch tv anymore so I’m sure it will be a huge relief. Thanks for being here I really was going to.. But I have been having those attacks very frequently recently and I’ll probly have one tomorrow. I’ve calmed down some now but I don’t doubt that I’ll end up in the hospital soon.. Kinda scared… And angry… And confused…
Wanted to test hanging today.. So I tried it on and got it not too tight to breath a tiny bit but I felt a lot of pressure in my head :/ I probly couldve made it a little tighter and kept it on but I don’t leave without saying goodbye so I just do it..
And @guardian – I can’t find that post..
Hey Dawn, hang on. Like Guardian said, take a deep breath, and keep talking to us. I’m still wired after walking about town the whole day…was trying to distract myself and not smoke…I’m glad ou calmed down a bit. Just chill & talk with us a bit…we’re not going anywhere yet…
For Dawn:
the Plan
Middle of the night you wake up, sweaty, confused, afraid. That same old feeling of dread hits you. Why can’t you sleep? Every night it’s the same fuckin thing.
You wake up hating yourself and wishing you were dead, you start to think of Cutting, that always works.
But tonight Cutting doesn’t help, you are overwhelmed by a strong hatred for your life and a desperate need to kill yourself.
You remember the Plan
You dig around, it’s here somewhere, you wrote it yourself, you knew it would come in handy one of these days.
As you read your own hand writing you are drawn to a happier time. You had help, you had hope. You planned for this moment and now you read your own words across the page.
“Nothing loves you like I do…
So follow our plan…â€
The plan isn’t what you expect. I’m not talking about about some ridiculously expense way to do the dirty work that old age is supposed to take care of.
Nope.
This is a safety plan kids…
Yeah I been reading your little website here for a bit and I can’t help noticing that in all talk of planning, no one talks about planning what to do when you feel like shit next time instead of bleeding out like a hero falling on a sword.
So here it is kids, plain and simple.
Make a Plan
A Safety Plan
DO THIS;
When you are feeling strong, and hopefully with the help of a well meaning friend, I call them Mentors, sit down and write a safety plan.
The plan has three parts and each part is divided into two.
The first part is all about what you can do right now, alone, to help yourself feel better and the second half of the first part is all about who can you call right now, yup even in the middle of the night.
The second part is all about what you can do the next day to make yourself feel better, and the second half of the second part is about who can I call the next day.
The third part is about what can you o in the next week to feel better and the second half of the third part is about who can you call in the next week.
Simple right?
Ok your fuckin lost, lemme spell it out;
Middle of the night, feel like shit, I should:
Part one A, hug my teddy, drink hot cocoa and masturbate (hey it’s your body!)
Part one B, call friend who said she would listen, call help line.
Part two A, go to gym, go window shopping, eat healthy.
Part two B, call family and friends if they don’t suck, call doctor, call therapist.
Part three A, visit friends or church or special place, go to doctor/Therapist
Part three B, call clubs to join, call support group, call people you are losing touch with.
Get it?
Simple right?
Here are the rules:
It must be your plan!
It must be stuff that works for you.
Part One must include people you can actually call in the middle of the night and stuff you can actually do, this website for example.
Get creative, build a fort in your house and hide when you feel bad!
“Oh Guardian, your so smart!â€
Yeah yeah, I know, now get to work helping yourselves.
I guess that would help but I really don’t really have anyone to call or talk to