I cut myself for the first time.
I hate counselling, I hate friendships, and people suck. I just want one person to know how it feels to not want to get out if bed in the morning, to wake up hating yourself and go to bed thinking about how shitty you are and how ugly you look. I am sick of my face and the people I’m surrounded by, I want someone to know what it’s like to feel completely lost and not know what’s wrong and to feel shitty and sad even when everything is going good in your life, I want someone to understand what it’s like to feel like […]
Things seemed like they were going great, I’m so stupid. Why the fuck would I be optimistic when life just had to bite me in the ass. I have to go to Sydney, a massively overcrowded city to see my family, be tossed from one family to the other whilst old people hug me and say I have grown so much, see my best friend (and I use that term lightly) who has ignored me since I last went back to Sydney. I also get to see her older brother (my old crush from when I was little) and he loves to torment me saying […]
I guess I’m a walking irony, I have severe depression and social anxiety and you know what it was cause because I helped people and took on there problems but didn’t have anybody to talk to about my own. You know what’s even worse when I joined this site, I got locked out because I kept checking my page so much to see if anybody had bothered replying to me and I felt even more alone because of that, like even the website put there for people like me doesn’t want me. I’m that much of a screw oh that this site hates me too. […]
Stressing and worrying
Clammy hands and darting eyes
The world all around
She began to despise
The simplest tasks were scary
The people surrounding
Still hurt her profoundly
As the words from there lips
Not a single one missed
*****, slut and whore
Scars she had to bear
On show for the world
Gone but always their
Not a single person helped her
They all saw her drowning
Still going about there day
Noticing and still frowning
She knew nobody cared
But the image still hurt
As family and friends
Stood around and all glared
Drowning more each day
In the tears she had cried
The girl that once was pure
Nearly […]
Everytime I try to write a poem it just ends up being depressing, I wrote a depressing poem and tried to make it more positive by ending it with a good message but others aren’t so pleasant:
Some people don’t know the truth,
But I’ve uncovered the proof.
The world out there sucks,
It’s evil, cruel and vicious
Life is a malicious *****.
You must believe me
I’ve suffered the pain
And felt my work was all in vain
I have had depression
It attacks your mind with great aggression
The little words you speak,
They keep breaking me, making me grow weak.
I don’t want to die