I’m tired of anxiety constantly running my life. Bought concert tickets for tonight but am having a nervous break down and don’t beleive I’ll be going anymore. I’m to scared. I hate this I just wish I could enjoy myself for once.
As I lay in bed questioning my own existence, I look threw the window and see nothing but something which was once familiar but now is not. I’ve lost myself. I’ve lost sight of any goals or aspirations I once had, I’ve lost sight of my happiness. I hold back the tears and feel my heart drop to my stomach as I am slowly coming to realization that I don’t belong.
Why is he still with me.. He said he doesn’t have fun.. That I need to grow up.. That I’m going no where in life… If he thinks all this how can he love me and how can he stay with me..
This all makes me wonder if I can’t even make the love of my life happy.. How am I ever gonna be happy?
All my life I knew something was different about me… Maybe it was how self conscious I became when my parents couldn’t afford to have more than one or two outfits that fit me when I was little. Or maybe it was how hard my mom tried to make my brother and I happy, but my dad always tore her down.. Maybe it was my parents always being to busy to come to any of my school concerts and events? Maybe it was just me? All I know is that through it all, no matter who I have around me, trying to support me.. I […]