Author

4L1C3

I've had someone leave my life every year ever since, each time a different person

fUCK tHE wORLD aLREADY

by 4L1C3 8/21/2013

written by 4L1C3

I’m just so fucking sick of everything

I’ve had to deal with things that have just driven me over the damn edge

My parents found out that I self harm and that I took pills

I feel so exposed and violated

They think I need a shrink

Hell, everyone thinks I need a shrink

They pretty much hate my boyfriend, who is the closest and most important person in the world to me

He understands things about me that no one else does

He’s accepted my shitty fucked up self

And I miss him so much

Before everything fell apart, it was like waiting for hell to happen

Now it is like going through hell

I want […]

8/21/2013 1 comment

“TH1RTEEN R3ASONS WHY”

by 4L1C3 6/14/2013

written by 4L1C3

Thirteen reasons why

Learn from Hannah Baker’s mistakes

I did

6/14/2013 0 comment

pICTURES

by 4L1C3 6/10/2013

written by 4L1C3

Up there, the thick old album on the bookshelfÂÂ

Shards of our soulsÂ

Stuck under shining plastic

From the shutter that clicked so long ago

Faded memories are shredded

No longer recognized as the past

But merely a different era

Where happiness existed

6/10/2013 0 comment

tIRED

by 4L1C3 6/10/2013

written by 4L1C3

tired of everything

Living is such a tiresome process

6/10/2013 1 comment

sTAY sTRONG

by 4L1C3 6/10/2013

written by 4L1C3

stay strong~

This is to the ones who are weak

This is to the ones who were once weak

This is to the ones who have become weak

But most of all, this is to the ones who help the weak, because the weak can’t help them

6/10/2013 1 comment

tHE eND

by 4L1C3 6/10/2013

written by 4L1C3

A soft thud at the edge of life

The message of despair

Strangled lines of truth

Choked-out final words

Falling asleep in the sky

Stripes of misery

Sinking below the depths

Being cut away from a whole

Preparing to abandon all hope

Receiving your last present

Leaving the ones you love

6/10/2013 0 comment

….

by 4L1C3 6/9/2013

written by 4L1C3

I am alive and well for now

I wonder how the end will come for me

I hear silence ringing in my ears

I see a barrier between sociality

I want to fly high above the clouds

I am waiting in angerâ€¦.

I pretend life is fair

I feel sorrow and corruption in my heart

I touch the edges of many hardships

I worry about the other hemisphere

I cry when I am permanently abandoned

I am an unstable beingâ€¦.

I understand itâ€™s hard to leave someone behind

I say â€œI can move onâ€ but truly canâ€™t

I dream of a world no longer full of suffering

I try not to be a burden to others

I hope for a place […]

6/9/2013 3 comments

pATHETIC

by 4L1C3 6/9/2013

written by 4L1C3

I talked a lot because I was lonely.

So lonely that I talked to walls. I yelled at windows. I cursed the floor.

I was an only child, and it was all I had to offer.

I was afraid to not talk because it would just make me so much more alone than I already was.

That was how I learned to adapt to my life, my surroundings.

I would talk to myself all the time and make myself laugh at stupid jokes that werenâ€™t even funny.

It was pathetic.

I am pathetic.

6/9/2013 2 comments

mESSED uP

by 4L1C3 6/9/2013

written by 4L1C3

Maybe itâ€™s okay to be yourself where you come from. Maybe itâ€™s okay to be cursed. Maybe itâ€™s okay to be someone like me.

But here? There is no maybe. There is no okay. There is no me to be.

My life from the beginning was merely a messed up play. The curtain dropped after many acts, thus ending the play in all its appalling drama.

6/9/2013 0 comment

iNSTEAD oF mE

by 4L1C3 6/9/2013

written by 4L1C3

I lost my sibling a long time ago

I didn’t even know them

But I feel like they’d be a better person than I am

And that they’d make more out of life than I have

I shouldn’t even be alive

They should

It’s not fair

It never was

6/9/2013 0 comment

wINDOW

by 4L1C3 6/9/2013

written by 4L1C3

She stares out through the front window

Of her small one story home

A shadow won’t be cast down on that carpet anymore

Who knew that sunlight could be so cold

She lies down on the bed

Thoughts trailing of blood run through her head

She knows why the sky is blue

Don’t ask me why she knew

She stands up again

Light shines on her thin hand

Her days are numbered like sands

Through an hourglass

Her shadow will be no longer

Cast down on the now blood-red floor

She thought that she was stronger

Not to stay there anymore

Yes, she thought she was strong

What she thought was so wrong

In the end she was so weak

For deciding to not […]

6/9/2013 2 comments

“yOU aRE nOT nEEDED”

by 4L1C3 6/9/2013

written by 4L1C3

“You are not needed”

Those words ring through my head constantly

Ever since they were spit at me, spit at my face

And I couldn’t say anything

Because that would mean denying the truth

Suicide

I’d always considered it yeah

It was always passive, a passing thought throughout life

The usual motives are still there, and it’s all so cliche

I think I am fat and ugly and stupid

My story just seems like another one of those huh

The most major problem I have is depression

And my emotions are unfortunately unstable

I have panic attacks, I never see them coming

Then comes cutting, such a sick process of harming and healing

Then attempts to make myself hurl, all […]

6/9/2013 2 comments