It makes me upset when I, or others post about things that are bothering us and are kicked around by some hateful comments. I hate that. For example, “Try living my life for one damn day I don’t cry about it on some shitty website 24/7 for attention. Get over your lesbian self harming self.”. We just need to vent. If people really are on here because they consider being miserable some sort of giant competition, what do you possibly gain out of it? I’m just on here to vent when I feel really shitty. I should find a different forum. This is so childish.
I remembered laying against your soft naked breast. We cuddled at the Deadly Muppets theme camp for what must have been 6 hours. I didn’t realize how fast the time flew by. The sun rose and I had to leave you. I didn’t even know your name. We just lay against one another for so long. That whole weekend I spent falling in and out of love. It couldn’t have been the drugs or alcohol, but my desperation to find someone to fill that dreaded empty feeling digging deeper and deeper inside of me. I’m so confused. I think I’m gay. I only have these […]
Why am I alone? I am overwhelmed with bitter regret and anger. Everybody has some big blotch of the past they want to delete, there’s no such person who has had a perfect, sugar coated life. I selfishly think that I have it so bad, nobody can relate to me. I am wrong. My peers who put on a happy demeanor have their own skeletons; they seem to know how to function without the past disrupting their routine. I don’t know what went on in their lives. I sit there and in my mind I snicker, thinking these people are so young and naive. I don’t […]
When I read the comments to some stories, I wonder why people say the things they do. People who tell others to “stay strong” and “don’t give up” yet are overcome with manic depression and revolving thoughts of suicide. Why do we say things that are so hypocritical? I don’t understand. It frustrates me seeing that, it makes me think “Are these people real? Why are they on here saying these things when they themselves are on the verge of self destruction? I don’t believe they actually mean what they say; or maybe they say those things because they want someone to say the same […]
I’m so tired of everyone. All the obligations and responsibilities I inevitably have being the oldest child. Though I don’t think I am a child anymore. I have so many expectations to constantly live up to, and when I don’t, I become a failure in my familys eyes. I have a habit of not finishing what I start. School, by some miracle I graduated, though I wasn’t allowed to attend graduation or promotional because instead of expelling me, they just told me to not come back the last month of school in order to get my diploma. I went to the military after that. I […]
I’m lost, confused; angry at myself, yet I portray my anger at others to hide my insecurities. I am a sadist, I hate it. I hate it so much, yet I can’t help it. I want to stop hurting, but I cannot control myself. I made my mother cry today. I blamed her for what I am, I blamed her for who she is. She always let’s me do whatever I want. She never says no. Nor does she ever try to stop me. Does she care? I push limits, boundaries, nothing I do phases her. I wipe my feet all over this woman and […]