As you may have noticed, I write a lot. I came across this website in an effort to find some research for a very large essay I’m writing. Needless to say, your stories and poems moved me to tears. I know where most of you are coming from and I too often contemplated suicide. But I made the decision to share the times in my life when I believed I couldn’t move on. That is why these stories are here. My hope is that someone will be able to read my story, relate to it and realize they’ re not alone. You can do this, […]
I ran away from my home, in Austin, at 15 to my 16 year-old boyfriend’s house in Dallas. I left behind my family, my friends, and everything I had known in my life on a whim for someone I’d known for a month. He convinced me that my life at home was dangerous because of my dad’s abusive past and I’d be better off with him. To me, he was everything, he was my world. I knew for a fact I couldn’t live without him now that I had him. I was addicted, consumed. I didn’t make it to Dallas, however. A police officer found […]
Sometimes I wish I’d never met you, so instead of being heartbroken every time you turned your back, just to come back like everything’s okay, I wish I’d never had to sit there and listen to you lie. You’re the reason I have no self-respect. I wish you’d abandoned me long ago instead of making me live through hell in your eyes every day. As much as you want me to forget, I never could. You hit him so hard across the face he couldn’t hear for damn near a week! I have scars from when you threw a PLATE at my head! Do you […]
In my dreams, I always dreamt I cut myself so deep that I’d lay there dying in an ocean of my own blood. For so many nights, I dreamed IÂ bled more than normal, I dreamt I lay there as the life blood flows from my body. It always has the same end. Everyone I loved runs in my room in blinding fury. They look at me with deadly smiles and wicked eyes. Charging towards my barely conscience body, they reach into my skin and rip out my veins. And I scream…I scream so loud over their animalistic laughter. I’m drowning in my own blood, but […]
You never even think about me. You’re just strangers living in the same house. The girl you think I am doesn’t exist! I wanted to cry, but never could. No matter how lonely I was, or how sad, you never even tried to understand. Ever since my brother left, I was always, always, ALWAYS ALONE! But I don’t care anymore. My heart has created a prison to shelter me.
Shut up. Leave me alone. I don’t need anything or anyone anymore. Just go away. Go away. I don’t want to feel anymore pain or suffering. Leave me alone! Wouldn’t it be great if you could live […]
I see the dishes clatter and fall.
I feel your breath on my face as you scream at me.
You hit my face.
My arms.
My ears.
I taste my salty blood.
At least the ringing in my ears is gone.
I see mother crying
Almost as if she’s begging you to stop.
You swing at me again.
My face to the floor.
How do I explain these bruises?
I won’t tell.
I won’t tell.
I’ll just smile to the wary eyes.
I’ll just wave it off.
No big deal.
No one will know your problem.
I don’t know why I exist
But maybe I’ll live to […]