I want out I’m not strong enough.
I’m tired… I could leave home again or go home. Ima kill somebody first
How can I make it go away? Does it ever?
Soo fucking lonely
When you’re just sitting enjoying yourself then suddenly stop and pause then your whole mood changes and it’s kinda hard to breathe and it feels like your insides are crying…
People always look passed me. I never for positive feedback in groups at the psych hospital but the next person did and everyone before me did. Which is why I don’t normally speak out. In society as well, when I’m with friends and have a story to tell no one ever listens. I used to raise my hand in school and never got called on when I wanted to so I stopped and started failing. I got attention but not the good attention. Why? Can someone not look passed this.
My friends, do they know how unhappy I am with life? Just curious. They notice I’m always the first one awake as soon as the sun starts coming up but do they know that when I’m laying with my eyes open I’m thinking about death and some more shit? Or that when I get frustrated its nothing controllable and do they notice my triggers? Do they notice I don’t laugh when they joke about people with depression or other mental illnesses?? Should I explain it to them?? How do I do that??
Depression has literally ruined my life. My mom doesn’t accept me because of my behavior so I got moved away for my only biological family (my sister) and moved to my dads, which his girlfriend doesn’t accept me because of my behavior and the fact that my dad goes out of his way to help benefit me so that I don’t jump off his balcony. I was a straight A B C student till around 7th grade I lost all motivation but somehow made it to 9th grade and completely failed because I stayed in the bathroom due to the fact that I hated going […]