For the past few months now my depression has been getting worse and worse and so has the suicidal thoughts. Enough so that I have attempted it a couple of times but it didn’t work. So I ordered some stuff to my uni flat which will mean it will definitely work. And I go back to my flat next week. I will finally be able to get of this place. I just have to get through this final week without attempting it a stupid way and then I will be able to go to my flat and end everything in peace.
We all have a different pain threshold and I have exceeded mine. I have planned my suicide, I have written a couple of notes and I am just waiting till I am home alone and I will do it. I attempted suicide early in the week and failed. Self preservation is really hard to get over, for me it requires a lot of strength and at the time I was weak, crying, crying and more crying. But now I can feel I can get over it. I am almost looking forward to death. No more suffering or pain. I’m quite excited.