Everyone tells me ‘don’t wish your life away’ but it’s so hard for me not to. You know, I so badly want to live a long and happy life, but it’s really not that easy. And maybe people are right when they tell me that, but I hate my life so so much at this point. It has come to point where I can’t see myself even growing up. I know I’ll never kill myself, I could never muster the courage. I could never do that to my family. I love them, and I know they love me. I just wish I could be dead […]
When I was younger I was absolutely terrified of death, to me the scary part was how it would happen. I always believed that murder was the worst way to and in a lot of ways it is. But a lot of us are murdering ourselves, including myself. We tear ourselves open with anything we can get our hands on, we are in a way doing just as bad as murder. But the difference is we’re doing it to ourselves. We burn our insides with liquor to numb the pain. It’s really sad to see that what I used to be afraid of, may just […]
Tomorrow
I absolutely dread tomorrow, because tomorrow I have school, I have to attend hell on earth. I have no idea why I hate school so very much, but hey don’t we all. I’ve never hated school so much, but this year I feel nauseous about even going. See the thing is I’m doing winter conditioning for crew, and it screws me up. Because if I go my grades tumble down, and if I don’t my mother makes me feel like a complete failure. What do you guys think I should do? Like I want to talk  to her but I have no […]
I wouldn’t exactly clarify this as a suicidal post, but I need to get it out and hopefully receive advice. My best friend and my older brother just recently began to have a ‘thing’ and it tears me apart. They understand I have been very depressed recently, and both now I cut. But they both think I’ve stopped. I thought I was going to as well, but, last night when she completely abounded me for him as soon as he got home. My parents weren’t aware of this. I didn’t want to sit and watch them be all over each other so I just left, […]
If you were to meet me you’d think I was happy and carefree. But that is nothing near the truth, I cut, I cry and repeat. I have thought about suicide but like I said I dont have it that bad, but i have it bad enough. I don’t think I’d ever go through with it but I wish I would and or could. I do have good friend and a great family. But I don’t get if i have all this why do i want to die. It woud be so easy, I have planned it out and everything. But i wont do it […]