sometimes I feel like I’m in an empty room, just me and the cold hard floor. I can’t see or hear or smell bit I can feel myself going numb. The pain of this never ending despair invading my mind. I can’t escape it, it’s embedded in my skin. I can’t wash it away. I never knew darkness could feel so heavy. I just let it eat away at me, why fight the inevitable?
I was going to take the jump, in front of the train. Looking dead at the tracks. I was so ready for this all to end. Some guy was there though. He grabbed my arm and yelled at me. Called the police. Stupid guy, if only he could see that I’m already dead. I just thought I’d break this vessel called my body so I can free my spirit. But that stupid ass man ruined it. Stayed in a psych ward after I was treated for hypothermia. My parents are suddenly keeping a wary eye on me now. Babysitting . The minute they decide to […]
The last train comes in a few. I’m outside, my hands are turning blue. The blistering wind in my hair. So many voices in my head. None of them are telling me to stop anymore. I don’t care anymore. I’m comfortable with all of turmoil in my head. I’ve accomplished so much in my short life. Did everything I knew I could, though I had no help. Everything alone. I’m so so lonely. Maybe I should’ve did this sooner. Definitely. I guess I’ve finally succumbed to my loneliness. A symptom of loneliness is death, right? Is this going to hurt, those fleeting moments when death […]
night
a never ending night rains down
darkening all things mortal
nothing else can be seen
but farewell whispers
curling into the night
fogging the air
everything will
disappear
misappear
contorted in appearance
with little interference
nothing to turn back to
but a darkness only night can consume
consume your soul
why stop it now?
slip into the trenches
and drown in sorrow
there is nothing left to lose
I’ve been thinking alot lately and I’ve come to the conclusion that life is a waste. I kinda just want to disappear. Crumble away and let a primordial wind blow away my remains. I don’t have anyone to talk to. My “friends” only show up when they need stuff so I’ve distanced myself from them. I don’t have family. I might as well be an orphan, they let me drift around aimlessly and treat me like scum. I was a good child. Great grades. Nice job. Almost finish with college. But I guess all they see is someone to benefit from. As for love, I […]