I’m falling apart. I dont want to be here anymore. I dread waking up again everyday.
Another sleepless night. I’ve been wanting to go to class less and less. It used to be that it at least distracted me. Now I just don’t really have the will to go.
I honestly cant remember the last time I was truly happy. I’ve lost all interest in things. I was okay for awhile but I’ve just gotten worse and worse. I really  can’t stand the thought about going to class and seeing friends and having to fake a smile. I have a couple close friends, they say they care, but that’s all that is right? Just words. Its been weeks and not even a single text or call to say hi […]
Another day I had to force myself to wake up and go to class.I just don’t have the will to do anything right now. I think I hallucinated this morning. Maybe because of the new antidepressant I started taking? Either way, it didn’t help me out one bit.
I cant help but feel abandoned, betrayed even. Just seems like I’m beginning to hate my so called friends more and more.
I’m tired. I couldn’t sleep. I spent all night fantasizing what’d it’d be like if I didn’t wake up again.
I’ve tried meds, some self help books, but nothing I do helps diminish this depression. I want to talk to my ‘close’ friends, but I cant bring myself to say anything. They say they care, but time passes and they don’t even make an effort to say a word to me.  I’ve always made a lot of effort to show them I care about them. And its just not a good feeling seeing no reciprocation. A part of me hates them for it. Its made me more distant. I cant help but feel so envious when I hear about them being happy.
I go to a university, I’m social and talk to friends […]