My mind is reducing me to this worthless being with an even bigger urge to finally do it.
I’m going to do it.
I wish this feeling was justifiable.
There are moments when I get these episodes of extreme happiness. Very short episodes where all my sadness, and regret, and worries and everything else in between seems to simply disappear.
The second that episode elapses, it’s like a shot in the head. Everything I always feel and then some.
It is at that moment when I realize, only happiness is limited. Sadness will always prevail in my life.
Would my relationship with the one person I am closest to right now be compromise if i showed them who i truly am? Sad and depressed?
My mind is killing me faster than I can even think of saving myself.
Feeling like I’ve lost my place in this world, community, institution and family.
I have nothing to live for.
My voice was breaking as tears filled my eyes
My vision was blurred as tears started to cascade down my face.
Sadness, hopelessness, emptiness, and loneliness engulfed me.
It hit me like bus, and I wasn’t even standing on the highway.
No sooner did my voice start to tremble, than my voice changed into a mumble.
I just cut the call. And apologized for bad network.
I cry myself to sleep everyday.
And still have to wake up with a smile on my face.
I’m tired.
My inner self is screaming “help”
but
my outer whispering “let me help you”
When you feel like you don’t want to live another day even when everything in your life couldn’t be better. It feels like the end.
I JUST WANT TO DIE
“Your life, our choice.”
The irony.
I never did. I’m back to square one.
I know the pain that I have left behind.
I have felt it before.
I’m sorry. That’s all i can say.
It’s not your fault.
Never has been.
My only request, Is to grant me peace.
ANNOYED I’M STILL FUCKING ALIVE.
It’s funny how the people you were closest to can forgot you so fast, move on like you were never here.
It’s somewhat comforting at the same time because I now know that when I leave, I’ll be forgotten just as fast.
I think about him everyday. He left me broken.
Do you guys think that it’s better to leave a suicide note
Or to leave people with questions?
I can no longer fight a lost battle.
It would be nice to recognize some of you here on the other side
Strong friendships for broken people.
I’ve just hit rock bottom
He’s gone.
His flat-line still ringing in my head