I’m surprised that people responded to my post about wanting to die probably because I’m used to being ignored when I need help the most. That’s right – ignored. It’s called growing up with a depressed, emotionally distant mother who was too preoccupied with her own problems to give her baby girl the nurturing and love she needed. Sneer if you want. Whatever. I don’t give a fuck. I’ve spent years in therapy, group therapy, on medications, making crazy, fucked up choices that intellectually I could not defend or understand yet I acted on anyway. I finally, finally put it all together: not enough of […]
Again and again I find myself wishing and praying to be dead. If only I could get out of here I wouldn’t have to be in so much pain all of the time. If only I had to courage to actually do something for real that would take me out. If only…but the days go by and still I’m here, a desperately sad and lonely person who can’t stop crying. I’ve lost so much and I don’t think I can bear it. Nor do I have to wherewithall to do what I have to do to move on. I just don’t want to. I feel […]