numbness of the mind
rots inside its self
begging you to be kind
only to yourself
i want what i cant have
numbness makes me aware of this
another threatening stab
killing whats left
god why?god why? god why?!?!
oh im so tired, really tired emotionally and physically and mentally, the urge to cut is getting stronger, whats one more scar right? errghh well i have to go out today, maby its good, i might get some distraction but if i dont mann im going to feel worse when i come back.anyhows hopefully you guys have something resembling a good day 🙂
yeah basically it seems like a habit now, and im sure iv said the wrong things plenty on here so sorry.
things with my deppresion and life in general have felt overall better recently, but it is a daily fight, its like the celldweller song-birthright “holding on until my hands and mind start bleeding” it feels like they are bleeding, beeding pain. im getting tired anmd i can tell, everytime im having a bad day i have to fight every waking moment and its making me tired, what if i slip back and end up so deep or deeper as i was before? honestly im scared, all these what ifs are running throught my mind, im getting tired of the fight. “hes on his way to […]
i feel so emotionally numb last few days, these are the times i would usually cut but have managed not to. it feels like a thick cloud is hanging over me so i am in misery yet i am still numb, id rather be in pain, i would rather feel something, anything atall.
ive noticed a few posts on here about who will be hurt when you kill yourself. for me when i feel suicidal i have now past the point of thinking of anyone else, my pain gets so intense, i even think they would be better of without me. the thing is you have to live for yourself, if you live for somoneelse you will never be happy.
focus your energy on LIVING, make plans for your future for things you LOVE, wheather it be a job, a person, a food ANYTHING! try to stop planning your death when the thoughts come into your head […]
iv had so much happen recently. so many people left me and made me feel worthless and alone but then i realised all the people who are still here with me and the only people i dont have are the ones who dont deserve me, i am valuble and so is everyone else. someday we will find something or someone worth all the pain, every day of pain and misery is one day closer to that, every second that passes is one second closer to happiness, it will come im sure, its waiting for us to find it.
has anyone else ever felt thht they want somone to talk to, a friend, that doesnt know everything about your messed up mind, or someone of the oppsite sex who doesnt think you are completly messed up, or talking to someone and when the question of “how are you?” comes up you dont have to mumble fine and quickly walk away to cry.?
these may seem like simple littel things but the thing is im not saying these are the reasons im unhappy and deppressed, im just saying its the littel things that remind me im not who i want to be and that have alotof […]
i am trying to stop self harm, i havent self harmed for a while like 3 weeks but i keep finding myself desperatly wanting to feel the sting of a cut and see the blood come out, haveing it hurt for a few days when my clothes rub against it to remind me im still alive and seeing the cuts to show myself im fucked up.
i have recently had a period of time where i dont feel so depressed, i didnt want to die every waking minute, i wasnt convinced everyone hated me. and then this dark cloud smacks me down again, i dont no what brought it on i just no its a familiar feeling when everything feels caved in, i just want reliefe, a time when i wont have to be scared erytime i feel good knowing somehting bad is lurking in my mind, i want to be loved and find someone i can trust, not just be thrown away. i dont understand why it is like it […]
its got to the point im seriously considering killing my self today, iv had this date in my mind, i just cant hang on any more, i hope all of you find the right road for youselfs and find happieness.
exactly when i need someone, everyone goes, i hate every moment of this pain called life. how am i supposed to move on when people tie me to the same place?
so this is my first post on this site, im not really sure what im expecting from it, iv been in counseling for 2 years and i have gotton worse i have severe clinical deppresion and its feeling like something i will never get rid of more and more each day, truth is im tired, of feeling like i want to die, of talking about ways to cope and what triggers my deppresion when theres nothing left i havent thought or said before, ive attempted suicide in december, and still my only regret is that i hadnt succeeded, there have been some difficult situations […]
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