Wish me luck guys. I hope I do well as I am under observation by the monks if I fit their lifestyle. Part of me wants to stay with my girlfriend but part of me also wants to escape my own hell.
I’ve been isolated for 2 years that I have a hard time talking to people and making new friends now. It’s like my social skills have deteriorated. I can’t even hold simple conversations with other people anymore. Anyone else feel the same way?
It seems ever since I lost my closest friends, it’s like something has been taken away from me that makes me like a functional human being. Compounded with this is the fact that I was bullied out of work and no justice was done that led to my depression. To my girlfriend of 14 years, I’m sorry that I’m unable to provide you what you want. I’m a failed human being whose emotions are being torn inside because of the loss of people that were important to him. This is why I think the monastery route is for me. At least I can be of service to God and live life of a celibate (though I’m no virgin) confined in the monastery instead of wasting away without any prospects or future.
Just went to the monastery today and I already feel refreshed. I have decided to try to become a part of their holy orders after a one month observership. I will observe and participate in the daily activities of the monks while also being observed back if I am suited to their life or not. After the one month period ends, I will then be given time to decide if indeed I will push through becoming a monk or not.
After this dairy stint ends, I will be joining in a heartbeat. I believe this is my way out of my situation. I’m trapped in the four walls of my home leading to my depression. I’m all alone and have nothing going for me. I have no job, no friends, I’m isolated and I have no one to turn to aside from my gf. We’re not close with my family and have no one else to talk to really. I’m ready to leave everything behind to live the monk lifestyle and serve the remaining days of my life there if all works out.
Who among here is in need of companionship bad? I don’t know why but this feeling is building up inside me after I lost all my friends and having no one to turn to. I don’t know what to do with my situation aside from turning to the monastery and becoming a monk. I reckon from there I will get what I’m looking for, a brotherhood of sorts and having companions that I can talk to. The only downside to this is leaving my gf of 13 years, which is sort of unfair for her since she’s waited this long only for me to leave her behind. But if I have to get better, I will have to do it because it’s driving me crazy as to what my situation is. I don’t have a job, I don’t have any friends and I’m already 33 years old. I have nothing going for me. Rather than waiting just to die and rot, I’d rather spend the remaining days of my life in a monastery.
I have no one to talk to. I’m unemployed, I’ve got no friends and I feel isolated in these 4 walls around my home. The only time I ever get out is when I fetch my gf from school and talking to my neighbor who’s not even there all the time. Hell, even I’m beginning to feel that he’s getting annoyed with me since I’ve developed some sort of unneeded attachment since they’re pretty much the only people who I have contact with. What do I do? I feel so useless. Maybe community living with monks is the answer for me. Since I’m a shut in at home, might as well become a shut in at church. At least I have people to interact with in there.
I’m torn. I’m 33 years old. I’ve got a gf of 13 years with me and God knows I want to marry her, have kids and be with her forever but given my current situation, I don’t even think I can provide her with what she wants – children and family. On the other hand, the allure of becoming a monk and being in a monastery grows more and more by the day. I’ve got nothing going for me. I’ve got no job, I’ve got no friends and I’m constantly depressed all the time knowing I’ve pushed away people and having no one in my life.
Even if I do get married, the thought that there will be no friends to even visit my marriage while she will have loads of ones will just make me appear like a loner/loser in the eyes of others. I don’t know what to do or where to go. My girlfriend is the one that has stuck by me through all this and has held my sanity for these past two years despite being isolated and yet I have to leave the very same thread that’s holding me together if I want to better myself. It’s like a cruel joke is being played upon me. I have to lose everything if I have to be okay.
My biggest fear is that I will regret all this if I do push through becoming a monk and I have nothing left to go back to.
Almost New Year in this part of the world where I live. Happy New Year guys! I hope 2019 will be a good year for all of us.
It’s been two years since I’ve been on this site and yet still here I am. It doesn’t get better does it? I’ve tried going out, meeting new people, getting new friends, training for a new job and yet I still am jobless, friendless and miserable. I’m already 33 years old and yet my life seems to go nowhere. I don’t know what God has in store for me but this is no way to live.
-33 years old
-not close with family
It feels like I’ve wasted my life and it’s only been two years since I’ve lost everything. Obviously I wasn’t like this before as I had friends, girlfriend and a job to keep me pre-occupied. It’s only when I was betrayed by those closest to me (which are my friends) that I feel the weight of the world weighing down on my shoulders. How do you guys go through another day living like this? It feels like I’m going nowhere with my life. I want to escape to a monastery so bad but that would also entail leaving my gf of 13 years and I dread that if I do go through with monastic lifestyle, I might regret leaving my girlfriend behind who has stuck through with me all these years. It breaks my heart to even think of our relationship that we’ve grown strong and together and in the end didn’t even get married.
I don’t know where to go or what to do. I’m going nowhere with my life. I’m already 33 years old and yet I feel stuck, isolated and stagnant. I’ve already enrolled dairy and welding classes and yet here I am still jobless, aimless, friendless and have no one to turn to aside from of course my gf. I have no job so I can’t give her what she wants – a marriage, a family and with kids. I just want to give up. I don’t know what to do at this point in my life. Honestly, I can’t stand living like this for another 30 years. It’s either I go to a monastery and spend my remaining days there or just letting me die.
I feel like my life is going nowhere. Three classes later and I’m still stuck in this hole being friendless, jobless and nothing to show for with my gf. We’ve been already together for 13 years and yet still not married, still don’t have kids and still have not settled down. I’m broken and useless beyond repair. I don’t even know if I can give her what she wants – a good loving family. Frankly, spending my remaining days in some monastery or dying is better than living like this.
I have no one to talk to here at home. It’s just me and my mom here. Just end this torment already.
It’s been two years already since I’ve lived like a recluse and with no one to hang out with. My social interactions just ranges from talking to my gf or talking to my neighbor once in a while in their free time. I want to escape my situation so bad but I don’t know where to start. I’m close to giving up on life that I just want to die or cloister myself in some monastery so I spend the remaining days of my miserable existence there in community living. At least I’ll have someone to talk to over there and be a part of group of people. Seems my life isn’t getting any better. It’s only gotten worse with no way out other than dying or waiting to die.
Everything was going well for me – I had a business, I had a career, I had a good set of friends and was feeling like I was on top of the world. Then in just one day it all came crashing down – lost my friends, lost my job, my business isn’t like what it used to be anymore and I feel all depressed and alone all the time. Why should I just not end it all or spend the rest of my days in some monastery?
When you’re in your own house alone or on the streets when you have no one with you? I seem to have developed fear of people and some sort of agoraphobia where I want to avoid certain places like a plague because I know the people who hurt me frequent that place. I don’t want them to see me what I’ve become because I know they’ll gloat more and rub it in my face how much of a loser I am now. It’s also the reason why I rarely leave the house making me part hikikomori/recluse.
I’m torn between staying with my gf of 13 years versus going to a monastery to become a monk and leaving the worries and ways of the world. Obviously, I think having structure in my life would do wonders for me as I’m a recluse at home with an almost hikikomori-like lifestyle. All I do at the house is wake up, stare at the walls or on my computer screen all day surfing the web, then only going outside to fetch my gf or talk to my neighbor who isn’t even there always as he works outside the city. I’ve got nothing going for me and the next best thing would be to probably become a monk and enter church service.
Better serve the remainder of my existence serving God than waste away at home doing nothing but that would also entail leaving the one last thread holding my sanity. I would have to leave everything behind if I decide to become a monk. I don’t know what to do. It’s eating at my heart, soul and mind.
Hikikomori is a psychological condition which makes people shut themselves off from society, often staying in their houses for months on end. Due to external circumstances of being attacked on social media and my friends turning on me and trying their best to isolate me, I’ve been like this for more than 2 years already. My routine consists of waking up in bed, staring at walls, staring in front of a computer screen and then logging into the internet for hours on end and only going outside to fetch my girlfriend either in the afternoons or evenings. I feel so empty and so lost that my mind is beginning to shatter. Anyone else here a shut in? How does your day go by and how do you manage to stay sane in all of this.
My routine is basically sleep, wake up, stare at walls and in front of the computer screen all day, play video games then fetching my girlfriend when her class is finished. And that’s the only time I ever go out of the house is when fetching my gf. I’m basically a living corpse. I don’t know how much of this I can tolerate. It’s like I’m a part-time hikikomori or something.
I don’t know why but I seem to want to have any conversation with anybody. It’s too bad I have no friends now. I need help. Anyone. God. Save me.