I’ve actually never felt so fucking low in my whole life. Never felt so fucking worthless. I’m stupid and ugly and shit. I’m never ever going to amount to anything. Which means my only options are stay stuck in this shithole for the rest of my life. Or just end it all. And let me be honest, the latter just sounds far more tempting.
I have nothing going for me, nothing. Everyone else around me are just such wonderfully smart and beautiful, with amazing talents and ambitions. Then there’s just me, struggling to make it from one end of the day to the other. Stuck […]
Empty silhouettes shining through
Those infinity mirrors.Â
White wash the pane,Â
Paint it black.Â
Black like the shadowing
Glimpses of light.Â
I roll to my other side to be greeted by an empty bed once more. The imprint of your body still engrave in the mattress. The smell of your cologne and stale cigarette smoke, from long sleepless nights, still lingers in the air. A bottle of cheap liqueur solitarily stands on that old mahogany dresser. Clothes strewn across the room from lust filled endeavours, fueled by the cheap elixir of love. The shattered remains of our love lays in pieces on the floor, alongside the broken china. I lay here an wonder what it was all for?
I somehow manage to drag myself from our un-matriomonial […]
Spring, a time for new begins apparently. New life. New loves. New Cleaning products. Pass the Clorox and excuse the pun.
Have you ever felt like you were living on borrowed time? Got up in the morning to a cool, icy, winter sun and felt that you weren’t alive? That everything in this world is too surreal. That you are nothing but a mere spec of dust floating in the glow of the sun. Whirling and twirling, Being inhaled and exhaled by the world and it’s inhabitants. Or have you ever felt even smaller than that? Just one single atom. So miniscule that no one can truly define you beyond the others that surround.
Have you ever felt like you are part of the uniformity of society? […]
Have you ever had a dream? Aspired to be something that in even the thought of it makes your heart beat that little bit faster. Your body fill with feelings of ecstasy. You feel like you were born to be that person? Until you suddenly realise you lack the talent to achieve it.
We grow up being told our entire lives to reach for our goals, follow our dreams. But those dreams are just dreams. And reality is something we must all face on an everyday basis. Giving up on ever following those dreams. But why? Why can’t a simple girl become a popstar or or […]
Sitting there alone, on a bitterly cold night. The icy air, causing little bumps on the back of her neck. She sat there, smoking the real world away. Falling further and further from reality. Each breathe filled with smoke. But her mind numbing. Forgetting. Falling. Each exhale of smoke dancing through the air. Swirling and twirling til it disappeared.
All I want to escape from inside my head. The yearning feeling in the bottom of my gut is telling me yes, and my heart and my head. So I don’t know why I’m still crawling my way through each day.
Karma keeps throwing me some hope and snatching it away just as fast. Life is becoming just one big strip tease, if anything. Hah.
Why? Just why, is it that it’s always the same thing that happens over and over and over? People just constantly use me and never for a second take into consideration what I do for them? I’m sick of always being the one looking after everyone. The one who’s always there. The one who’s never appreciated, not even for a second. Everyone just always takes me for an absolute fool. I’m sick of it. I really am. I’d love just for a while if people could actually see how lonely I really am. Just how shit everything really is. But no one could be bothered […]