Author

Butcheredpanda

be happy

by Butcheredpanda 12/24/2013

written by Butcheredpanda

I know it is hard to say/see coming here, but be happy for what you got!

Enjoy your time with family and friends and enjoy the christmas together. Don’t take it for granted!

remember; there are people living in poverty, wishing your lives to be lived. they would love to spend a holiday night together, with tables full of food, drinks and whatever they can wish.

I know that me myself, I wont probably live to what I have said here, but that doesnt mean you dont have to! Even though i dont know any of you and i probably never will I hope you all enjoy […]

12/24/2013 4 comments

What’s the point?

by Butcheredpanda 8/22/2013

written by Butcheredpanda

I have posted here before, a while ago already.

Anyways, now I’m still in this mess, alone every single day, doing nothing. No one who cares about this, because “autism is the problem”. I will be starting therapy to deal with my autism in 2 weeks, so I guess that is a good thing.

Although i dont believe this is the “problem” I just let it run it’s course, I mean, all those psychiatrists are trained for it right? They sure must know it better than me?

Now I have been sitting home every single day, alone, for the past year, doing nothing at all. I rarely talk […]

8/22/2013 2 comments

by Butcheredpanda 4/29/2013

written by Butcheredpanda

So today it is Queensday here in Holland, and the past night there was a lot of fun too in the whole country. But guess what, no one asked me to do anything tonight. As a amtter of fact no one even bothers to talk to me no more, it is like I dont even exist.

I still have to wait 3 months(that’s the soonest, it is probably even longer) before my useless therapy starts. Every day just goes a bit worse, and pretty much since I started to get treatment a year ago things went from bad to worse, and it is still going worse. […]

4/29/2013 1 comment

I was hoping to seem some change

by Butcheredpanda 3/4/2013

written by Butcheredpanda

So I wrote this post 4 months ago already;

The future doesnt seem bright

I was seriously trying and hoping to see a positive change, I didnt expect that everything was right again, but at least expected something positive.

Well guess what, there is none. Every day is getting worse and worse. Everyday I am having a crapload of headaches, completely destroying the ability to do something good, something helpful for a day. These headaches, I am sure they keep holding me back, if i didnt have them I am confident in my ability to improve stuff in my life, but guess what, I dont even get […]

3/4/2013 0 comment

The future doesnt seem bright

by Butcheredpanda 12/4/2012

written by Butcheredpanda

For around 4 years now, I have been dealing with depression, lacking trust and I dont know what more. I have been dealing for a while, it sometimes got better, after a while just worse, but it seemed to just hit a point where I felt a little depressed, and that just stopped, and after a while things got a little better again. But since recently, things just got worse and worse, and I dont see a reason why I should live anymore. I am not really thinking about suicide, like how I should do it and stuff, but I cant help myself from the […]

12/4/2012 6 comments