It it such a powerful feeling having decided. I am relieved yet I am crying. I have thought of this for so long, and it gives me peace knowing I dont have much more time left, but I can’t stop crying. It is surreal it has come to this, but I can’t see any other way out. I wish everyone on this site all the best and lots of love, and I hope you find a way to cope.
can i go now
I can’t keep living like this. I feel like a social failure, and its only getting worse. I booked a one way ticket, and if somehow this journey does not change something for me, I have brought rope to kill myself. Know it is a longshot, and why would anything change…. but I can’t live on like this. If death is waiting for all of us, then why prolong the pain of living. I just dont feel I belong in this world. Nothing wrong with it, I just should not be here. Everyone is better than me, and would be better off without me. There […]
I have had a lot of thoughts about social awkwardness, and wonder how much of it is genetic and how much we have an influence on. Are some people just born to fail socially? To suffer? Seems odd. But there are only two choices. You can either accept you as you are, or kill yourself. Living, thinking you aren’t good enough is just bullshit. You can’t keep living, hating yourself. Thats just a lazy bullcrap middle way. Please dont take this as you should kill yourself, dont wanna applicate this. I’ve thought a lot about it though, but I will give life a chance for […]
After having suicide on my mind for so long, I have realised what is keeping me here for now. It is not the bullshit like, ”Don’t worry it will get better.”, ”You are loved.” and ”Permanent fix to a temporary problem.” It is that suicide might make it worse. Even if one does not believe in anything spiritual, the thought lingers and you know you might be wrong. Suicide might not be the saviour, but simply sealing your suffering, fucking up your afterlife even more. We can’t even say we did not see it coming. Until my pain of living exceeds this fear, I guess […]
I guess I just need to vent. I am 23 and feel like I am just a person incapable of thriving in this world. My dad killed himself when I was young and my girlfriend left me three months ago. I think I would be able to get over this, if it wasn’t because I am just socially retarded. I honestly have no clue why she stuck with me for 1,5 years, or how I managed to get the friends I have. I dont want to stick around to lose my friends as well. I dont see how anyone could ever want to start a […]