Tired of disintegrating under the weight of my own fear of disintegration. Tired of watching everything I suffered so hard to build, crumble away, to slide back into the trauma I desperately want to distance myself from. Tired of the fear of disintegration, only to have it happen in actuality, and have all of my worst fears come true, for the x-teenth time: To relieve my worst experiences, those that caused me to be like this, over and over and over, in the context of current work relationships as I try to make my money and pay my rent, barely scraping by, wondering what I’m […]
