Craft

im supposed to be happy

why am i not

im on vacation

i have a girl that loves me

i have a comfy life

why do i still feel like this

why does it come back

it leaves for a bit then comes back again

im tired of it

all of it.

thoughts of suicide have crept in slowly but surely over the past months

fuck

i dont know man

ms 3

my heart hurts. i think its getting progressively worse each day. little by little. how much can i take before i break? will i last to the end? i feel left out. usually it doesn’t bother me but when it involves you i cant stand it. im sorry. im trying hard to be strong just like you said. just believe that i am and everything will be ok. maybe i’ll get lost behind that strong mask and actually become strong for a moment. who knows? i cant tell you whats wrong because it’ll depress you and ruin your day. you don’t need my crap […]

ms2

im going to be good im going to be good

why?

so things will be at peace

just hold on

piece by piece

its not fair to me its not fair

im just not going to say anything

ms 1

looks like im back to this place again

i hate the feeling when everyone is all happy and excited and i feel all alone in my corner and im the only one that feels differently about it. like i feel like no one even thinks about how i feel, maybe im just thinking too much or whatever. you’re still here but you’re not. i’m starting to feel alone. not the alone i used to feel when i didnt give a shit when i was single type of alone. that alone feeling like someones there but they’re not. people in general are better off without me. […]

i feel like shit

i feel like not living

i feel like all i do is hurt

all cause of me not thinking and deleting a stupid picture

all this hurt

pain

for me and you

ugh

i fucking hate myself

you need better than me

i probably wont last much longer

Ever get lost in the lie of pretending you’re ok?

like living in a dream then waking up?

or committing to something to just to break that commitment a day later?

it sucks

makes me wonder what can i do

living behind a mask being ok when your not, so is it to be ok when you’re not ok but you believe you are?

i dunno

It is getting worse, as far as how i’m feeling from day to day. it was getting better for a while but then all good things have to end right? When i’m around you i feel better for the time we have, its like im being fed hope, just to hold on for a little bit to make it to the next day or the next time i’ll see you. usually i can hold on, be ok til i see you again. hold my own. usually. this last week was probably one of the worse in a while. physical and emotional stresses almost killed me, […]

Past few days all ive done is fuck up

fuck up the only good thing in my life

fuck up so much it makes me feel like ive lost a game

i hate it so much when i do and i regret saying the things i said

“Two things you can’t take back: Bullets out of your gun and words out of your mouth”

I feel like ive lost it all sometimes

Then I lost it all
Dead and broken.
My back’s against the wall.
Cut me open.
I’m just trying to breathe,
Just trying to figure it out
Because I built these walls to watch them […]

seeing you and being with you is like being on drugs

getting high

and then when your gone everything before the high

my life

problems

worries

depression

sadness

it all comes back in a big crash

Earlier in the week it hit me hard, after a meaningful day the day before, only to wake up the next day feeling the same like yesterday never happened. i wanted to die. those thoughts crept back so fast. i think your the only thing keeping me here. i think…

so for while now ive been stuggling with on going with depression. for a couple of years now the over whelming feelings have come and gone. the feelings of useless ness, worthless, hopeless, never
meeting up to peoples expectations. I am out of high school now and am enrolled in college. my first 2 years of high school were miserable. classes were kicking my butt no matter what i’d do to try and get my grade up. my relationship at the time hurt more than helped. it was mostly me helping her with her problems for 2 years only for her to revert herself back […]