How do you see your life? Be honest, not to me, but to yourself. Close your eyes, take a deep breath and just think. These thoughts are something you never have to share, and might alter your viewpoint on the world slightly. But, maybe not. I’m just curious how we’ve evolved to a world of depression and suicide. For anyone reading this, they have something. Access to a computer, a smart-phone or a tablet what have you. The ability to read English and thus more-than likely write it. For some this is a blessing, a privilege that a majority of the world can’t say they […]
I’m so unbelievably sick and fucking tired of this feeling. I can’t do anything right, I have no faith in myself. The world we live in is a hard fucking place, but it wouldn’t be so bad if I could just believe in myself. Confidence is a rare commodity, and without it I give up. How many times do I have to fuck up and hate myself over it? Why can’t I just realize that I’ll continue to ruin everything I have. No matter the percentage put in my shoulders, a problem radiates to the surface. I’m sick of crying because I can’t do anything. […]
I hate talking about my feelings. People nod and smile like they understand how my emotions make me feel. They laugh and say everything will be okay, but it won’t. It never is. I smile back, give them a nod.
”Yeah, you’re right. Thanks!”
I say it every time just to get away. I break down, mentally exhausted, and reach out for comfort or even help… but nothing arises. They just say the same old shit:
Itll get better, you’ll be fine, stop worrying so much.
It gets worse when people have nothing to say. They just give you a sympathetic look. They just try to relate when they […]
I don’t frequent these feelings often, but when I do I’m scared. I get lost in the thought of hating everything I am. No faith for change, for adaptation. I wake up the same each day, my mindset doesn’t change. My energy comes sporadically, periodically through the day I’ll find small bursts of motivation. I know at the rate I’m going, I’ll be nothing. I’ll be nobody. Yet, with this knowledge, I still can’t get out of bed in the mornings. I don’t have the energy to brush my teeth, or take a shower. The dirt clothes have been piling up for over a month. […]
My entire life, totaling twenty-two years at the point of writing this, I’ve never had a real aspiration. No dreams, at least if I did they were lost when I was young and my mind was still free. My father died when I was young, leaving behind no more than his story and the memories his loved ones had. He was very successful for himself. Having served his time in the Air Force to protect the ones he cared about, he attended college achieving a bachelors degree in computer science with only a single class that he had a grade lower than an eighty. His […]