Author

DarlingDaughterDamaged

I started cutting when I was 14, since that day September 21 2008. I have been hospitalized twice for attempted suicide and cutting. I recently got diagnosed with BiPolar Disorder 1. My parents say they support me and "understand" but the truth is I can't stand myself sometimes. I am the darlingdaughterdamaged

Hope.

by DarlingDaughterDamaged 6/11/2013

written by DarlingDaughterDamaged

To all of those who remember me… Kelly or DDD or DarlingDaughterDamaged,

There is indeed hope… Â I know that sometimes it may feel like you’re at wits end, nothing is going your way, but just trust me..

I found love in this hopeless place… I know that seems stupid… But I did.

Nothing is a lost cause, I still have my bad days… It’s not as bad as it used to be.

I know that right now might be hard for you, but it does get better. Â If anything let me stand proof of that… Â And admittedly.. Â If Â it wasn’t for SP and the respective chat, wouldn’t be here. […]

6/11/2013 0 comment

One month… Sober.. Kinda

by DarlingDaughterDamaged 3/2/2013

written by DarlingDaughterDamaged

Well, I’ve stopped cutting… I give thanks to my awesome new someone.

Although I still do it occasionally and for… Other reasons… I am hoping to GOD that it will stick this time.

So yeah. One month sober.. Kinda.

Also to all of you who don’t remember… This is Kelly.Â LMFAO

3/2/2013 0 comment

How much PHYSICAL pain are you in?

by DarlingDaughterDamaged 11/18/2012

written by DarlingDaughterDamaged

Because weÂ over exaggerateÂ right? Because we don’t know theÂ difference.
I’ve been cutting again.

EVERYWHERE

The palm of my left hand, My left index finger and thumb, Â my right wrist, My right knee, both of the tops of my feet as well as the sides, and last but not least myÂ rib cage.

And you know what? We’re not all liars. Depression does hurt.

11/18/2012 1 comment

Make Like Kurt Cobain.

by DarlingDaughterDamaged 10/25/2012

written by DarlingDaughterDamaged

Seriously?

That’s what it comes down to?

For those of you who don’t know SP chat used to be a great place to vent, find friends, even be yourself. But the tides have changed. An influx ofÂ immature Moderators and Admins has made it a living hell. No one can get along when there is always a side to be chosen. The chat was closed TWICE last night. Whatever happened to talking it out?

When the chat closes you aren’t just making the people fighting angry you make EVERYBODY angry. Â Oancu needs to learn to stop complaining all the time, and let someone else speak. Custard. STOP DEFENDING HER. […]

10/25/2012 19 comments

Failing.

by DarlingDaughterDamaged 10/16/2012

written by DarlingDaughterDamaged

I can’t stop it anymore. I feel like shit all the time.

I think I might.
I might.

I Probably…

Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Will try until I fail.

I don’t know how or when. So don’t ask.

I won’t plan it. It will happen byÂ itself.

…. I feel like failing.

10/16/2012 3 comments

Masks off.

by DarlingDaughterDamaged 10/14/2012

written by DarlingDaughterDamaged

It’s hailing.

My parents left, they took my little brother again.

Last night I relapsed and my left thigh looks like plaid.

I’m scared.

I can’t not talk to anyone. But, no one really knows me here…

two weeks ago, 10/04.. My dad and I got in a fight about me getting glasses…

He got mad because I should have gotten them when everybody else in the family did. When I pointed out the fact that he bragged about his 20/20 vision for years, and yet he JUST got glasses in June. He hit me.. twice. When I tried to runaway he chased me then shoved me…. I filed a DCFS […]

10/14/2012 4 comments

Relapse. Part Deux.

by DarlingDaughterDamaged 10/14/2012

written by DarlingDaughterDamaged

Not to say I wasn’t clean for a year and that’s not something I am proud of …

But I have NO IDEA what came over me…

I loved the metal. I missed it so much, I didn’t even cry. I’m not suicidal… I just want to cut.

But I’m Â scared that I’ll get worse again… I don’t want to get worse again… I don’t want to be in my head again.

I don’t want to be that girl again.

10/14/2012 1 comment

If I Told You

by DarlingDaughterDamaged 10/13/2012

written by DarlingDaughterDamaged

If I told you who I was

Would I still be beautiful

Would I be everything you wanted me to be?

I don’t see much chance in anything changing

But I keep on trying in the end

Maybe it’s not really up to me

If I told you who I was

Who would that make me?

Who lets themselves give in?

I wish I knew the answers to my questions

If I told you who I was

What would you do?

Would you run away? Would you cower?

I think I’ve lost all my power… Over me

10/13/2012 0 comment

Where’d You Go?

by DarlingDaughterDamaged 10/13/2012

written by DarlingDaughterDamaged

My parents just left and took my brother. Fuck… I really need someone to talk to… I feel really lonely. I can’t honestly believe that they are still mad at me forÂ filing that case against them… My dad hit me and when I tried to run away he pushed me… I’m having a hard time keeping it together. I’m trying to keep it cool and collected but, I know my days are numbered. I turn 18 in 52 days. My moms keeping count. She’s kicking me out… She’s let me know that for a fact.Â Â They won’t even let me talk to my little brother when […]

10/13/2012 4 comments

My Favorite Coping Strategies

by DarlingDaughterDamaged 10/13/2012

written by DarlingDaughterDamaged

I love this place already. You guys are an amazing bunch of misfits.

I want to share some of my copingÂ strategiesÂ with you.

When I feel like cutting I

“Cut” myself Â by drawing lines with a marker
Play with my pets
Journal
Draw
Write a really nasty letter to whoever pissed me off… Then I rip it toÂ shreds.
Watch Rocky Horror Picture Show

When I’m having a panic attack

I focus on an object and breathe in through my mouth, out Â my nose
Squeeze my stress ball (If I don’t I scratch my hands something awful)
If I am calm enough by then I will play with my pets

When I feel depressed

Talk it out
Go for a walk
Watch my […]

10/13/2012 5 comments

Invisible

by DarlingDaughterDamaged 10/12/2012

written by DarlingDaughterDamaged

Invisible

Could she belong too?

My invisible,

Let her play and run.

Have her day in the sun,

But my sweet invisible

Itâ€™s only for a day.

For they donâ€™t want you

They cast you aside

My darling invisible,Â

But we love you

Life even without love

Itâ€™s worth living

My invisible

TheÂ sweetheartÂ you are,

Shine today as the brightest star

But only today

Invisible

You were always visible to me

10/12/2012 2 comments

I feel sick.

by DarlingDaughterDamaged 10/12/2012

written by DarlingDaughterDamaged

This is my first post.

I’m sorry but, I feel sick. My day was full of mania and cigarettes and I can’t believe I got up this morning… It’s one of those days when you are the thing in question. Â It doesn’t help that my parents will not talk to me because of the DCFS case IÂ filedÂ against them. Â I feel so alone here. I wish that I could take this whole week back and start over…

10/12/2012 10 comments