I’m tired of this shitty life. I’m tired of fighting through every situation and still never being good enough for anyone else.
I’ve reached the point where tired is an understatement. This depression and anxiety and all of these negative thoughts have dragged me past exhaustion. Everything feels heavy and it’s all pointless. I just want it to be over but it’s like I’m too tired to even make that happen.
I feel like I’m floating. With the ebb and flow of the water rocking me back and forth. Ears just under the water surface muting all the noise. Afraid to take deep breaths or move too quickly.
At some peace but still feeling this close to being out of control. Like one wrong move will just sink my body under and take the air from my lungs before I can do anything to stop it.
Floating in the middle of my life right now. Ready to turn over and swim or just give up and sink. I haven’t decided yet. No one would care either way.
I end up here a lot. In this place where my mind races and then slows and either way I feel like I’m not breathing already.
The story of the stars fascinate me. That their light shines on for so long after they themselves have died out. And I’m only wondering if that is because I feel like that too.
My life has had so many tragic lows mixed with all sorts of positive highs. This true explosion of light. Some days I feel the contentment and peace that comes with being surrounded by the blues and purples of the galaxy. Others I think I might explode […]
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