Author

dededone

Christmas Blues

by dededone 12/25/2012

written by dededone

I’m the loneliest I’ve ever been. And it’s all because I’m surrounded by people. People who are happy. I don’t just mean fake happy, they areÂ genuinelyÂ happy. Fuck! I wish I could remember how that felt. Am I a bad person because I feel jealous? Jealous that they’re happy without me? I don’t know. I can’t answer that. I mean, it’s not like they’re my real family. I’m just that kid they took in ‘cos they felt sorry for me.

Every time I hear them laugh and cheer, I feel a painful twinge of jealousy. It’s like being stabbed in the heart with a cold blade. Then […]

12/25/2012 2 comments

X-mas

by dededone 10/17/2012

written by dededone

So, I just realised it’s only a couple of months till Christmas…

10/17/2012 6 comments

I tried to kill myself

by dededone 9/30/2012

written by dededone

Hello all,

It’s me again. So some of you might know already (from ******) that I attempted to kill myself last week. On Tuesday I went to bed feeling like shit. I’ve been taking sleeping pills for months now and I still can’t get to sleep. It’s the most frustrating experience I’ve ever had. Anyway, I had taken 3 pills the night before and still couldn’t sleep. So, the next morning I was still completely off my head… Kinda’ high I suppose. All my suicidal thoughts just became too much. I took about 25-30 tablets. MyÂ house-mateÂ found me and calledÂ securityÂ who in turn called the ambulance. I spent […]

9/30/2012 6 comments

First Draft

by dededone 9/16/2012

written by dededone

Hello all,

I have the urge to declare my sanity and justify my actions. I doubt that anyone will be convinced that this was the right decision. They are all too caught up in what they believe is sane or what they believe is “good” or “happy”. I believe it is my right to decide what I do with my life. It is my goddam decision! We all preach to the rest of the world about “freedom”. Well, how “free” are we really if society can’t accept someone’s decision to end their life? The word suicide is shunned and scorned. A person who commits such a […]

9/16/2012 4 comments

Introduction: dededone

by dededone 9/15/2012

written by dededone

Hello everyone,

I guess I’ll just start with the basics. My name is Jamie, I’m 20 years old and I live in Ireland. I study Computer Science and I’m just starting my last year. I have suffered from depression for close to 7 years now. I guess I had a rough life. I was abused by my father, sister and my relatives. My mum died from cancer when I was 14. She was also abused by my father (which is the worst part). I’ve been through foster care. I hate myself. I cut, I do drugs and I don’t eat enough. I’m ready to die but […]

9/15/2012 1 comment