I wake up. I mourn the loss of my partner. I struggle through the work day. I cry. I weep. I have no idea why I’m not gone when I have nothing. When I am nothing. When I should have driven off the road ages ago. When I should have slit my wrists.
I miss self-harming. The adrenaline would dull everything else. The physical sting would quiet down the mental anguish. And yet I can’t bring myself to break a several year streak because my friends would be “disappointed.” No one would even notice, surely.
Maybe one night I’ll get drunk or high […]