I decided and I have to do it till the end of this week. I’m usually great at saying goodbye but somehow it’s hard for me now. Recently I’ve been on this site few times each day. I needed someone to listen to me and I got all I wanted. Thank you. Hopefully I’ll leave peacefully. This is probably my last post.
Goodbye.
I’m not sure if I should say where I’m from since I’m about to throw shit at this country but i’m just gonna say I’m from Eastern Europe. I truly hate the country I live in and I have reasons to. Recently I came back from Berlin. For these few days there everything was fine. I didn’t have to worry about anything. The second I left the train everything came back to this awful state. Part of the reason it was this way is because I planned killing myself after I’ll come back. But everything here makes me feel more and more depressed. This country […]
While time ago I had many interests. One of them were films. I was enjoying watching them but also I was really excited about the whole process of film making. I even attempted to write a script.
Currently I watch more films and tv shows than ever before and I’m not doing this because it excites me. I’m trying to fill the time. For a moment I don’t have to live my own life but I get to live non-existing characters’ life. So i spend days and weeks staring at the screen not feeling anything.
What i’m about to say may sound stupid
The next season of one […]
I can never stick to the plan. Planning my suicide was probably a mistake. I told myself I’ll hang myself after I’ll come back home from a trip which I just did. My parents will be out tomorrow so it seems like a perfect time to do it. But I can’t. I’m a failure. I tried killing myself in the past but I ended up just talking too many pills and passing out. I’m afraid i won’t be able to do it. I suck at everything including suicide.
For a long time I felt really bad. I was sure killing myself is the right choice, but recently I don’t feel sad I have no better days. I just feel nothing. It reminds me of times when I started taking antidepressants I still had suicidal thoughts but it didn’t made me calm like before. ‘Before’ whenever I was stressed I thought “Hey, I can always kill myself” or “Don’t worry you’ll be dead soon. No one will care then” and i calmed down.
Now I stare at trees imagining myself hanging on them not sure if i should do it. I don’t have the strenght […]
Sorry for any mistakes. English is not my native language.
I’m not under the pressure of time anymore. But I want to be gone as soon as possible. I’m not gonna write why I’ll kill myself because i think we’re all here because of the same reason. There’s no point. I decided to give myself time and die properly. I want my death to be painless. I’m so afriad of pain. I’m a loser. I know I won’t be able to kill myself any other way. But I live with parents and here’s the problem. I have no idea how am I going to explain helium tank […]
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