As a mmo gamer I find myself tragically stuck in the role of tank. I can’t help but feel life beats on me a little more than others. It is selfish to think that way, because everyone is fighting their own battles, playing their own parts, but sadly I think I am just to perfectly fitted to this part. My nature is to protect, to take the first hit, the last, and each one in between. I feel like I care far too much to fit in properly in this day and age. The only thing I want is to help people smile, and to […]
I don’t want your help, I appreciate the thought, but I don’t want to be helped, I don’t want to have to retell my pathetic story. I just want to be left alone in my lies, because that’s where I can have a normal life. My smiles may be fake, but others smile with me, my laughter may be forced but it gives other people hope. My positive ideals are my own, but they are shrouded in deception. My dreams are false, and my mind is shattered. I can’t accept help because I have no idea where to begin. I am broken, but I will only […]
Here I stand, in front of the mirror once more. The disgusting creature standing before me is not me, not the me I ever wanted for myself. Unmotivated to even live my life anymore I see the imperfections of the body, the lies behind my eyes. I am not the type one would imagine to have such thoughts, I am the cheerful one, the intelligent one, the kind hearted soul. Even as I smile at myself I see the lie, the deceit behind the sweet gesture. I want so much to be saved by my lover, the man I have given everything to, but only solitude awaits me. I […]
Ever since I was little I dreamed of my prince charming.
Now I’ve found him and he can’t love me due to the curse of broken trust.
This Cinderella story has become an unrequited version of Romeo and Juliet.
Unable to trust, he will die alone, and so shall the one that loves him.
So with this broken heart I’ll drink your poision to set you free.
Behind bolted doors I can’t help but sink to the floor and let the hurt in my heart slip down my cheeks in a silent protest. People say I don’t care about anything, that I feel no remorse for anything, that I am cold, bitter and replaceable. I only stare into the distance letting my thoughts wander, knowing if I listen my resolve will shatter. I am through helping those that seem to need it, I am through trying to give people reasons to smile, I am through trying to love and be loved. My heart can only take so much before I have to hide […]
Ever since I was little I dreamed of my prince charming.
Now I’ve found him and he can’t love me due to the curse of broken trust.
This Cinderella story has become an unrequited version of Romeo and Juliet.
Unable to trust, he will die alone, and so shall the one that loves him.
So with this broken heart I’ll drink your poision to set you free.
My story begins about four years ago, that was the day I meet one of the closest friends I will have ever had. I was young and stupid, he was older and much more experienced in life, something he has never flaunted in my face. He was patient and fun, a very calming touch to my scatterbrained mind. He has always looked out for me, in a sort of protective sense that he tried to keep my innocence. Because of all of our time together I fell in love with him. How could I not? He cared for me, listened to me, helped me with my trivial […]
I enjoy life, but life hurts and abuses me. I smile and laugh at the little things, while being degraded and yelled at. I smile every day because I forgive and forget, everyday I am mentally abused and given a new reason to cry. However, I can’t cry with my eyes so my heart hurts for me in exchange for my smile. I laugh and things seem to fade away and release me from my worries, but he knows exactly what to say to crush me.  Everyday I trade my pain for a genuine smile, I let myself forget, I let myself go on without letting it […]