Working together with close friends is paying off so much. It’s nice to have someone by my side through all of this hell. I miss standing in the ocean and being knocked over by the current, for some reason, it’s our favorite thing. It’s delusional to think it only takes 10 minutes to push us a mile down the shoreline. But we miss it. We miss the taste of fresh lobster. The taste of salt water and how it burns and feels adventurous.
I suppose the mind plays tricks to distract you from the harder shit in life, i don’t even know what shit it will pull tomorrow. “stoopid brain!” *slaps it
I feel ok. Like there’s a little light to follow in the far distance. I’m not sobbing or anxiety riddled, and that’s all it was last summer….Perhaps this new approach is paying off…
and you know, I just, wasted so much time trying to understand what happened…
I hated seeing in black and white, and ruminating over it. I hated her. I hated them.
I couldn’t help it, either. It’s just how this works, I guess.