ugh. When people call you fat just because they know you have an eating disorder.
I can’t believe myself. 58 days I went without cutting. 58 days of suppressing the tears until i could lock myself in my room and cry myself to sleep. 58 days of resisting the urges with all my will. did I cut when my ex yelled at me and told me he wished I would just fucking die? Did I cut when my uncle killed himself? Did I cut on any of those days when life was just too much for me to get out of bed, but I had to force myself to because if I didn’t who would take care of my brothers? […]
im awfully depressed and lonely so if anyone else feels the same heres my email: cinderlilah2@gmail.com I know it’s a stupid email – don’t judge me, I made it when I was nine. So yeah, please talk to me.
im getting stuck again. im falling and each time I do it’s harder to get up than the last time. I’ve known for a long time that when I die it will be at my own hands I just don’t think it will be any time soon. I’m getting to that place again where it feels like the only true solution is death because I am just so tired and I really wish I could sleep forever. I want to go home but home doesn’t exist anymore so maybe I should just go.