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The death of hope

by Dr.Shazbot
written by Dr.Shazbot

I remember a line from the movie “the lives of others” and there was this line about suicide being “the death of hope.”  That’s what I feel like.

 

I have no hope.  None.  I have no hope that my life is ever going to get better and that I will one day be a happy, content person.  Whatever happiness I’ve ever had in my life has been fleeting.  It’s only ever been when I was with two of my girlfriends.  Both relationships ended when they dumped me at around the two month mark.  I don’t see the point in deluding myself that it will ever get […]

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Still here. Barely

by Dr.Shazbot
written by Dr.Shazbot

Before I begin, if you might want to read my previous post for some context.  http://suicideproject.org/2012/03/want-to-just-die/

 

I’m still here.  Not much of an accomplishment really.  Still depressed.  Still having very suicidal thoughts.  Not constantly, but it’s like they’re always there, waiting for me to have just one very bad day.

My ex and I were friends.  The she just stopped returning my texts.  I didn’t know why.  Still not sure I do.  About three weeks ago.  I texted her and basically wouldn’t stop until she told me what was going on.  All she said was that I can be annoying somtimes.  I admit that sometimes this […]

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Want to just die

by Dr.Shazbot
written by Dr.Shazbot

I’m 28 years old.  I’ve been what I’d call a depressive since I was probably 14.   I tried to kill myself when I was 16 by overdosing on my anti-depressants.  I haven’t tried since, mainly because I saw what the first attempt did to my parents.  I was very fortunate in my parents; they’re loving and supportive, and I probably wouldn’t be writing this if it wasn’t for them.   I swore on my Grandmother’s grave that I would never try again.  That vow has also helped stopped me.   But it’s losing its effectiveness.   I don’t see the point anymore.  Why should […]

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