Me, in the bath tub. Fully clothed, bleeding out. Seventeen days from now. My birthday. My death day. I attempt every year on this day. My D-Day. Twenty one, on the twenty eighth.
I used to love you. But you fucking broke me. I can’t have one normal conversation with another human, I can’t smile. Can’t laugh! Because you broke me. You ****. I hope you rot and are miserable for eternities. I used to only be suicidal, now that’s changed into homicidal. I used to be sad, so sad. That’s gone now. I don’t feel anything, except ANGER now. Pure hatred. I think if it was my choice to let you live or die, i’d finally smile, watching you burn. I fall asleep thinking about, I dream about it. Dream of your death. I fantasize over it. […]
Bubbling Boiling , deep inside.
Waiting praying, to see the light.
Whispered nightmares, a tale within.
One bloodied mess, one last sin.
There’s only one way, to kill that cretin.
Death of it’s master, one way to be beaten.
Let it out, or make them pay.
A sacrifice surely, one i’ll not make.
For we like this realm, Him and I.
So I let him control, my rotted insides.
There’s only one note, I must recall.
I’m that daemon, Which hate’s it all.
He’s my king, as I for Him.
“One bloodied mess, our very last sin”
I have five more days. If I don’t complete the blood oath by then, i’ll lose everything. My wrists are going to […]
Just kidding. I have a method, although alone, I loved you.
I really, really wish this would end. I am pretty tired. You, know. That’s a good way to describe it. I am tired.
Holding on, is hard. I just can’t end up failing again. Hearing my mom scream, and cry. That and the hallucinations I experience were basically hell to me.
My mom is a strong woman, she’s been through her fair share as we all have. She doesn’t cry . Seeing her finally cry for the first time in years, because of me, because of my lifeless body .
I can’t experience that again, and , even if […]
Please, pardon my language if it’s too much for you.
People see babies, and they often think. “awe, it’s adorable” (Or something of the sort.)
I see a baby, I think. “Wow, some guy put his penis, where pee comes out of, into a girls vagina, where pee comes out of, during sex, and he ejaculated inside of her, and a baby began forming, then after months of growing into a living being that baby then stretched open that females vagina 20 times bigger than it should ever be and came out covered in blood and amniotic fluids. That’s fucking disgusting.”
We are blessed to be able to daydream.
There’s something inside of me, I’m considered a dead man. I’m alive now, but i’ll try, again and again, and again. Because I can not stop. I’ve been completely consumed by this. I hate, everything. I’ve learned to hate myself, and now I can’t take that back. I ruined my life, numerous times, and I’ll continue to do so. It’s as if I no longer control my body. I’ll try again. Till I am no more. Considering that, I’m already dead. It hasn’t happened yet, and it’ll happen again.
Right in front of my mom. So suicidal. ‘It kills me”.
What a ghast.
She knew what I was doing..
Please, by god help me.
I just ABOUT briokw my FACE.
Sorryb f9rfor misss spelling drunk as ever.
two b;ack.
omg/////// please he.lp me. I fractured my jawk. I cant quit httin g mysekf.
This time it was a boxer.
He was enormous , an unfair death, like always.
I just started to love on him, became attached.
But all good things die.
This is life.
Then you left, showed me truth.
And told me to get over it.
With that knowledge, I can become such a spiteful person.
Or become a mindless drone living day to day with no real care.
Some just realize it sooner than others.
~BehindTheSmile~
Two things strong enough to prevent.
It’s a shame i’m upside down in a backwards world.
Swirling vortex, suck it all in all.
We’ll meet somewhere in the event horizon.
“Just one more day Donnie, please” .
A couple days ago. I haven’t cut in a couple months. I’ve going to most likely do it again. I want. Things I can’t have, things I can’t live without. I chose a long sleeve shirt for my job for a reason, I have to just hide it. I think about locking the store, drinking the night away, and just cutting myself till I bleed out in the store. I hope people try and rob me with a gun, so I can ‘do something stupid’ and get myself shot. I’m a coward, I can’t do it myself. I wish I dead. Or just. No I […]
I keep waking up. I woke up in a pool of blood that one night, a month ago. I woke up. 80 ounces of the hardest alcohol I can afford, twenty cuts later, and I still wake up. I’ve overdosed so many times, on pills and booze it’s like my tolerance is way too high now. I wake up every time. Even as a kid, I’d try at least once a week. I’d wake up every time. A whole bottle gone, and I would still just wake up.
I’m scared, because every time I try to finally die, it just does not happen. I’m scared because when I get these last […]
it’s one the walls on the laptop. So fucking careless. she bropke up with m~!e. I qouldnt believe it museself. She told ME , q. wll have a future. dvrtything wikk be ok. she told me. well haver kids one day. blahblahb.ah. SHE TOLD ME. everything qill be ok. she told me. all these fucked up LIEA. now imbleeding . dying. I wont make it tonit.e I hope. maybe shel;o see. I fucking hate her. she fucked ,e again. what thte fuc,. oh the fuc,. so much fucking blood. cutting again in a bot five. qill not stop till im dead. fuk everyone ./ I […]
Strangers! . My arm is tattered, torn to shreds.
Failed for one last attempt, so I punished me.
74.
I stopped at seventy four, apparently .
I counted after.
Seventy four wounds, on my arm.
Seventy four little trickles rolling down my arm.
And i’m still fucking here. The people I live with, the ones I used to call family. Are nothing more than careless strangers. This isn’t the first time I’ve worn nothing but jackets and long sleeve’s for days straight, they know, but they don’t care. I’m their disposable MULE. Nothing more than a slave. These people, who I used to hug, and tell them I love them more than […]
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