EmbalmedHeart

Stereophonic hypnotism,

acute memories taken up space,

desired to be defined through eloquent soliloquy,

violins seem to be serenading me, victim activism.

nicotine medicine or virus, life taken at my own pace.

Wordpress Serifs to express all that eats at me,

dichotomy of a soldier on a mission.

living for a taste,

of euphony, ecstasy, sexual expression smiles silent,

hearts swallowed whole by intimacy.

Feels like I’ve been graced,

by habitual gravitation.

pulled together again,

by the stitches of her imagination.

Black doves engulfed in the fire of the sunset,

flitting away somewhere sweet.

hands in hearts in knots and anxiety,

she will someday set me free.

They said the iris,

the honesty truth and respect

and the response seems callous

when the music blares out all noise,

when you can’t hear anything but your heartbeat,

And for a moment the question of authenticity ends,

Plato warned me they would kill you for making them see the truth,

whether they could deal with it or would forever ask for more proof.

at a certain point, you ask yourself what’s the use.
you want your intelligence to bring good news.
And that humanity is easily confused,

by the questions that keep us up at night,

when they don’t know if your wrong or right,

whether you deserve life.

and try as you might,

you know it’s […]

Downward spiral,

falling forward,

depression wave is tidal,

the ache is suicidal.

let me off the ledge,

a life lived on edge,

anxiety out of control,

the hell has swallowed me whole,

wallow as I wake,

I can’t take another day.
Too broken to ever unbreak.

The coos cold echoes,

sweet terrible whispers,

life feels pointless,

I feel subjugated.
yet there is tomorrow,

and tomorrow, and even a tomorrow after that.
It feels impossible to be comfortable,

it makes each breath a painful exhale,

it makes each smile feel hollow,

wishes spent and moot over birthday cakes,

and it takes.
life takes.

yet there are moments to live and feel alive,

and when they come full circle,

we again rise.
(A response to hopelessness)

 I remember as a child I assumed that there was nothing wrong with the lives of the animals behind glass at the Bronx zoo. That somehow their lives on display gave them enough of a life having been brought out of the wild and subject to a million strangers gazes on a daily basis. So many friends and people they would never see again, Until I found myself inside their cage. The feeling of alienation while simultaneously viewed, taunted, judged, aching in the profound pain of knowing there was nearly nothing more to life. I witnessed furious tigers as a child not understanding their snarling, […]