i cry
and scream
whenever i come crashing down
from my high.
it’s the disorder-
the disease-
that pushes me
taunts me
backs me up into a corner
until one day
i’ll crash down
so hard
i’ll end up a corpse
because that’s exactly what my mind wants.
it’s fucking sick,
i hate the mocking
and the teetering off the edge
and i don’t know
if i’ll ever be able to reach that day
where i can give a big fuck you