I mean, sort of but not really, for a few things in particular they’ve all either “lost their luster” or were not ever really apparent in terms of value to begin with. This is going to be quite ranty, not a very important post at all so it’d be better to look at others, but regardless, nowadays social media wise or whatever you call it I still see others thinking about past people and wanting them back or still being hung up over them. I don’t and I have probably never felt that way about much of anyone for my short time on this rock. I […]
Yeah, not expecting much but checking in and wanting to hear from others here, how many of you feel utterly lost? Or just somewhat lost. I can’t necessarily say I have the best clue of how this “life” thing is supposed to work, but right when I was getting any sort of understanding on it, things kind of cave in on me.
I’d like to say I’m not surprised but I am. It gets more surprising each day. I wonder how I’m not completely stunned at this rate.
Okay, uh, where to begin. This isn’t going to be organized as far as I’m aware, not much organization but hopefully by keeping that in mind I’ll organize things more this time:
I was supposed to immediately start applying for jobs back in late November or so. Er, not really, in that such a thing did not happen even though at the end of the day the same things were barring me from taking the same courses of action and I had to jump through the hoops anyways to begin with, whatever it was I kind of wasted time there ultimately. Primarily in terms of not […]
Specifically with either ditching those that apparently “hold up” the roof you live under and pretty much losing out on five years due to it in order to get things back together, or sticking under it when their mistreatment of you is a prerequisite for staying there simply so you can do necessary work & finish your degree instead of menial tasks others could quite frankly automate away by this point. This is a continuation of the third to fifth paragraphs of https://suicideproject.org/2024/09/no-guarantees/ alongside the entire post that is https://suicideproject.org/2024/09/im-making-a-mistake-or-am-i-i-dont-know/ in that I am facing the same choice, yet again.
I think it’s a […]
Despite unfortunately recognizing a fair portion of society as dysfunctional, especially all of it when “societal norms” and “common sense” are spread around to degrees that fail more than succeed (primarily because these phrases are inherently subjective in and of themselves leading to a ton of misuse and furthermore harmful concepts being perpetuated for far too long, but that’s a different thing), I’m no different and probably worse considering how I see the pitfalls and I walk right into them, replicating the mistakes of those who have come around literally decades and centuries and even longer than that beforehand, it’s fucking ridiculous, I don’t know […]
Yeah, specifically when a lot of the people around you are doing the wrong things and all that, those in positions of authority and those apparently older than you, those who have more “know how” or whatever the heck, it just really sucks a bunch of the time to come across such circumstances in which people both don’t know what they are doing and refuse to admit that, kind of leading others astray with them. I really hate it. When things like taking into consideration what you eat alongside exercise aren’t the norm and people don’t necessarily pay too much attention to what they put […]
Or actually, I should probably rephrase that since that doesn’t show the amount of responsibility present in that case. I’m more so the one who causes said “wounds” (in a metaphorical sense, no self harm, yet) to myself, and then other people are able to add salt to them as a result of that. Yeah, if I could reasonably list out how many of my problems would be self-inflicted, that would make more sense than it already does.
Of course, such a thing can only be most directly applicable to my case, but regardless, I’ve encountered some problems throughout the last 2 to 3 years. Some […]
Does anyone else not necessarily have much concern for things like family, having a family, getting a significant other in whatever sense, and possibly maybe even friends in the traditional way? Not necessarily fervently avoiding them outright (although due to various things I guess you could say I am), and still having interactions with people whenever necessary, convenient or maybe even pleasant (depending on what counts as those things for you all), but really just not seeing the point of bonds that overstay their welcome, or usually turn out to be sour/regrettable, all of that stuff.
Of course, I wouldn’t say that healthy relationships aren’t possible […]
(cue family stuff here)
Ever since February of this year. Yeah, I’d say it’s since then, and my recounting of the events are quite disorganized due to me myself being disorganized, go figure, but me and my “family” have had quite the squabble about my future (involving college attendance and all that). A squabble that is primarily dealt with in silence, and furthermore inside of my own head with my perceptions of them no doubt, but I know that every time I lash out at my father for example with curse word galore, which is really both on a surface level and deeper than that me […]
So, to start off, new account, hooray. I never thought I would be writing here today or that this would somehow involve Wordpress of all things? This is certainly not the first time I’ve been here since it’s been a website I have kind of been aware of since early 2022 or so, a few familiar faces for better or worse depending on how you look at it. This is surprising, but at the same time not so much since my life has gotten to a point in which I am not too sure what will happen to me in the near future, including if […]