Author

FreakShow2

Turning My Life Around

by FreakShow2 8/9/2015

written by FreakShow2

When I was last on this site, I was on the brink of committing suicide, as I had been for, in retrospect, about five years. It was an awful period of my life, and I would never like to revisit it. However, I feel that it is necessary for me to come over here because of how this site effected my life.

After I had a particularly painful episode, during which I threatened to drink bleach and simultaneously overdose on various painkillers, I conceded defeat and got put on an antidepressant. For many people, these medications are rarely effective the first time you take them. […]

8/9/2015 2 comments

Medication: What is it Like?

by FreakShow2 6/27/2013

written by FreakShow2

What’s it like to take medication? Is it helpful or harmful, and are the side effects too great?

6/27/2013 2 comments

Skipping School

by FreakShow2 5/2/2013

written by FreakShow2

Today was the first time that I ever tried to skip school. I’ve been so depressed lately, so I decided that I was going to take a nice break. I was going to go on a train downtown, watch a movie, get something nice for lunch,Â and I had an elaborate plan worked out that almost worked… until my mom saw me on the way there. I wound up being taken back to school and got sent to the guidance counsellor’s office where I, wisely I may add, did not admit to any suicidal thoughts. Believe me, though, when I say that killing myself right now […]

5/2/2013 1 comment

The End of the World

by FreakShow2 4/7/2013

written by FreakShow2

How many of you guys at least kind of hope that the world will end? I know that I do. Theoretically, it would be so much easier if the world blew up tomorrow.

What do you guys think?

4/7/2013 4 comments

I Am A Screwed Up Person

by FreakShow2 4/6/2013

written by FreakShow2

Yesterday I got into a fight with my parents. What they’re trying to do is sign me up for a summer campÂ that I don’t want to go. They say that I’m too isolated, and I am isolated. However, I’m isolated because of me having enough of hearing everyone scream at everyone else, and being withÂ anyone becoming increasingly uncomfortable.Â I mean, though, when you’re brother is having a screaming fit over a computer game can you blame me for avoiding the situation?

Back on the subject of that camp; my parents have been trying to get me out of the house for several months now because my hiding […]

4/6/2013 5 comments

An Eventful Couple of Weeks

by FreakShow2 2/6/2013

written by FreakShow2

In the last week or two, I have been taken to the hospital for breaking down in class and revealing my suicide plan to the guidance councillor. I could say that I was surprised, but I wasn’t. The moment I said, “the fact of the matter is that I am suicidal,” I knew I was screwed.Â So, my parents were notified and I was shown the doors of the ER. However, I was able to avoid admittance, if only barely, by bravely lying my way out. On the exact same day I planned to kill myself, I smiled, laughed, and maintained my composure. So it’s only […]

2/6/2013 3 comments

Do You Guys Think I’m a Bad Person?

by FreakShow2 1/15/2013

written by FreakShow2

I go on this site, but none of my stories compare with the majority of posts here. I made aÂ poorly plannedÂ attempt, I wish I had gone through with it, et cetera, butÂ it makes me wonder, because there’s also that feeling of guilt when I am on here: What if someone kills themselves and I didn’t reply in time? What if I didn’t even try? I guess that’s the extremely selfish reason why I try to convince people not to kill themselves: I would feel too bad.Â Does that make me a bad person, and shouldI just hold that feeling in?

For the record, though, I lurk […]

1/15/2013 9 comments

Back to School

by FreakShow2 1/14/2013

written by FreakShow2

I have decided not to sleep in today, mainly because mom and dad won’t let me. I have to go every day like a good little boy, or I will only get more depressed. I’m not actively suicidal at the moment… but I’ll see how I’m doing after the one teacher nags me to do the work I don’t care enough to do. Then there’s the majorÂ assignment I have to ask for a 1 week extension on, so double doody today! At least with the French assignment, though, everyone used Google Translate, so my crud won’t stand out after I half-ass it.

1/14/2013 2 comments

I Feel Like Crap

by FreakShow2 1/13/2013

written by FreakShow2

Today is one of those days where I just feel like I have nowhere to go. Once upon a time I got up at 6 in the morning or earlier, but now I wake up at 7:30, 8:00, or later. I’ve started coming to school late, IÂ am not handing in assignments on time, I take no pride in my work, and feel like the only escape is dying. I am speaking as a younger teenager somewhere in or around wherever, and even now, I still think that I am highly intelligent. Keep in mind, though, that I always have this feeling of hopelessness, the feeling […]

1/13/2013 3 comments