i can’t do school. i feel like i lose all my energy just being in google meets. And then there’s homework on top of that??? like bruh im already having to use so much energy to not kill myself and y’all expect me to pass classes asdhf. i just wish i could sleep forever. I can’t even talk to my therapist i’m so tired of thinking. here’s a song that helps soothe my thoughts,,
i want more friends that i don’t feel alien from. that can relate to how i feel or at least know what it’s like to almost die at ur own hands. idk. these days i can’t help look back to the mental hospital bittersweetly at how things were so the same everyday, how the people were all the same in a way. in the real world everything is so suffocating, no one really wants a mentally ill person in their friend group or working at their establishment. they want someone who pretends not to be. i’m so exhausted
i can’t even be bothered anymore i feel so empty i just wanna make a pact and smoke and bite the bullet. whenever i look for forums they are all dumb as fuck and feel patronizing or like they are constantly trying to fix me, i just want to vent without some fucker in the comments like “i’m so sorry you feel like this :(( it gets better!!” i’m so bored of dealing with people and doing what i have to do to get others to leave me alone. I just wanna melt into the floor and become the earth below me. anyway goodnight!