ghosting

I hope you all don’t mind, but sometimes I have a hard time articulating the lack of anything that I feel, so instead I take bit and pieces of phrases I see on this website and put them in my art journal. I sort of like it- it’s like an amalgamation of everyone’s suffering and hopes. it’s flawed like a broken mirror but all the pieces fit together so nicely. anyway, I hope you find a bit of yourself in my artwork : )

I desperately want to kill myself. money has been a major issue for me. I’m struggling to pay for therapy & I’m barely just getting by. The loan my mom is giving me is slowly adding up and I’m not sure if I’ll be able to reimburse her. I don’t know when my school financial aid is coming in either, overall it’s a mess. My family has been extremely unsupportive of me being trans and my overall mental health. My mom yells at me for being suicidal. I want to attempt suicide but the thought of surviving and having to deal with my mom berate […]

lately the way I’ve been hurting myself isn’t enough. contrary to popular belief, I don’t cut because of the pain- I cut to watch the blood drip down my legs. There’s something very surreal about watching yourself bleed, it’s quite relaxing honestly. anyway, I’ve been using the blade of a pencil sharpener to cut myself with- but it hasn’t been doing as much damage anymore. It won’t cut deep enough, or at least not enough to watch myself bleed. part of me wants to try using an actual razor, though I’m scared I’m going to go too deep and see more flesh of myself than […]

Just listen, and judge me for what you think I’m worth.

I’ve been lurking this site for years. somehow when I think I’ve reached my brink there’s something about it that’s so quiet. I come here and I get to peer into the lives of others and delude myself into thinking that I’m actually closer to any of them. It makes me feel less empty, even if it ‘s just for a little bit. I don’t know if it’s all the medication I’m on, which is currently five, that has been making me so numb and devoid of life. I want to die, while simultaneously not […]