you know who you are, I hope this finds you well :)

Hey, I’m sorry if this is all over the place. Right now my mind is just a jumbled amalgamation of words that I just can’t seem to convey properly. I didn’t want to leave a suicide note, personally they make me want to off myself, but I couldn’t just go without leaving something for you. You’re just so important to me, it breaks my heart to just disappear without giving you a piece of my soul.

I’ve missed you so dearly, I miss you more than anything in the world. I hold you so close to my heart always. you know, you’re absolutely my favorite person. If I could spend my last days with anyone in the world It would be you. Remember when we were talking about soulmates? My heart quietly has always believed that you were mine- I hold so much care for you that it’s hard not to believe you’re my soulmate.

I still love you, I meant it when I said I’d continue to love you forever. it’s okay if you don’t love me, all I ever wanted was to just have you in my life. more than anything I just wanted you to care about me. I’m so blessed to hear you say that you did. I’m so happy I get to die with that in my heart. I’m sorry for never believing you, for being scared all the time that I was going to lose you. I was such a fool, my fear made me lose you anyway. I believe you now though. I wish there was a way I could make it up to you.

I absolutely adore you- I genuinely believe you’re the most perfect human being, you’re so incredibly flawed, but I think that’s what makes you beautiful. I’ve always thought you were the most beautiful human being alive

I know you’ll never read this, you’re probably not looking for me. part of me is hopeful you’ll find it- it’s everything I’ve ever wanted to say, but have never been able to put it in words. I’m always praying to the universe for you.

much love, oliver