Author

Drowning

Welcome back

by Drowning 3/23/2016

written by Drowning

it’s been a wile but I guess your due to return

Me-hay insomnia it’s been awhile

insomnia-I know you thought u could hide from me with sleeping pills right ?

me-umm well kinda yeah u keep me up all night messing with my head making me over think and drain the little life I have in me

insomnia – haha well I’m back to kick u in the teeth what u going to go with out them pills now huh ?

me-……..

Insomnia- you know your life a mess right ?

Me-no I didn’t know it was a mess actually I thought it was going fine if u ask me that’s why […]

3/23/2016 14 comments

by Drowning 3/23/2016

written by Drowning

My plan is kinda going to shit was meant to get more meds today and they didn’t put what I wanted in the bag maybe it was a mistake or maybe there on to my plan but it has pissed me off tho I feel much better knowing I have a method in place and when iv had enough I could try again but they are fucking with my plan here

3/23/2016 15 comments

Drained

by Drowning 3/23/2016

written by Drowning

so fucking tired having to wake up at 6 am and basically run up and down stairs all day I’m mentally and physically drained plus i don’t really want to be alive but I ain’t really got a choice right now and now il feel guilty if I try again but it’s only a matter of time I guess I just hope I get it right next time unless things magically get better which I don’t think is going to happen so I’m kind of I’m limbo again

how’s everyone in suicide club today ?

3/23/2016 4 comments

Untitled

by Drowning 3/22/2016

written by Drowning

so over the last new months iv been working on a song about how I feel being depressed suicidal still needs work but il share the first couple lines with u guys

– I keep trying to fill that fucking void inside it feels like life is just passing me by looking in the mirror iv totally lost who I am the cuts relieve the pressure can you save me from myself

alone and depressed anxiety stressed I’m hanging on for dear life but I dont see the reason why iv been thinking dose God really exist cause this is bull shit this is hell in living […]

3/22/2016 2 comments

Boys and girls names

by Drowning 3/22/2016

written by Drowning

I think this is awesome sadly iv got most of them 🙁

-Pat

-Max

the doctor said I got -Andy

and now sending me somewhere else because they think iv now got -Ben

-Isaiah

-sam

-Dan

-Dallas

3/22/2016 29 comments

New and old

by Drowning 3/22/2016

written by Drowning

we seem to have a lot of new people with us I was just wondering who new and are some of the old people still with us I no Iv only been here a few months but iv seen a few posts about people last days would like to know who still with us and who passed on ?

But I really do like all u guys even if it’s only been a few weeks I’m glad I joined the

suicide club

3/22/2016 7 comments

Life isn’t easy neither is dying

by Drowning 3/22/2016

written by Drowning

just a thought it’s not actually that easy to commit suicide or it takes a hell of a lot of courage sure it dose take a bit of courage to try overdose

but other methods takes a lot more courage and have to be planned out properly or you will wind up in a worst state then you already are

so what are the opinions here ?

Living a depressed and miserable life ?

plan and trying harder next time ?

Hoping things will get better ?

Go to a country were you can use the method you choose ?

At this point i think I’m more scared of living then dying […]

3/22/2016 2 comments

The hole

by Drowning 3/21/2016

written by Drowning

I’m standing on the edge I stumble I fall in

I’m falling into nothing I’m screaming im calling

it feels like I’m drowning man I can’t breath

can someone save me from myself please

it could be sunny outside but it’s raining over me

downward spiral walking corpse virus Im slowly dying in silence

And I’m it’s host to entertain wile it flourishes from my pain

and stuck in this hole

i remain

3/21/2016 2 comments

Stuck

by Drowning 3/21/2016

written by Drowning

so right now I can’t die haven’t got the right method found the location equipment etc don’t want to live like this no more depressed anxious putting on weight suicidal proberly won’t sleep from insomnia bla bla bla can life get any shitter Oh yes it can just a matter of time before God give me that kick in the teeth to try harder why couldn’t of the overdose worked I feel as if I’m going to be pushed to a method which I don’t want to do but feel I have no choice

3/21/2016 0 comment

She’s poison

by Drowning 3/21/2016

written by Drowning

she’s all wrapped up tight

unwrapped she shines in the light

i hesitate at first for moment everything goes quiet

Iv found a new friend she’s so shiny and light

she knows my pain without me saying a word

she knows how to change mental pain into physical

without any words

she knows how to release tension all built up inside

She makes me bleed but she makes me feel alive at the same time

i don’t feel so numb this is kind of fun watching the blood run

but she dose leave scars that much is true

but in dark nights she really dose looks like the moon

– Ray

3/21/2016 10 comments

Plan B

by Drowning 3/21/2016

written by Drowning

well last nights plan didn’t workout to well waking up in hospital on a drip I need to think of a different method because I don’t think things will get better and iv lost the will to live so I don’t like the idea of crawling though life

3/21/2016 7 comments

Still alive

by Drowning 3/21/2016

written by Drowning

so last night thought iv had enough of this shitty life so I swallowed a bunch of pills layed down hopening for a nice send off but

guess what woke up in the hospital pale looking like shit then get home to find out the medic took the rest of the pills so I some how need to get more then and try a different method

3/21/2016 30 comments

by Drowning 3/21/2016

written by Drowning

3/21/2016 0 comment

Why

by Drowning 3/20/2016

written by Drowning

why can’t life be simple ? why do we have to go though so much pain and suffering ? why must the good die young and the rest get left to rot ? why is the world such a horrible place ? How can we find our purpose in life if we don’t even no were to begin ? Why am I fighting to live if I’m just living to die

Life is hard as it is let alone going though everyday depressed anxious and suicidal how much more suffering can one person go though maybe it’s my destiny to die early

3/20/2016 5 comments

by Drowning 3/20/2016

written by Drowning

3/20/2016 4 comments

Ready

by Drowning 3/20/2016

written by Drowning

i think tonight’s the night to try again we’ll see how things go had enough of life i feel iv lived long enough you know when people say things get better when is that ? Happiness isn’t promised think I’m living with faults hopes with no plans for the future no goals just the battle everyday with myself this isn’t living life it’s just surviving another day and having to act like your doing fine and handling life but really your face down in the gutter drowning in thought trying to keep your head above water if this is how the rest of my life […]

3/20/2016 6 comments

Psyco

by Drowning 3/19/2016

written by Drowning

im not one really for emotions I still don’t really understand them but looking at my daughter In a room full of people knowing you would kill anyone who caused her any pain to cry or even make her sad and you would do anything for her is this love ?

Like I said before I don’t feel connected to anyone is this love ? I don’t think one can love anything more deep then a parents love I’m not a psyco am I it’s normal for a parent to want to kill for the kid right ?

is finding true love really a myth then ?

Anyways […]

3/19/2016 1 comment

by Drowning 3/18/2016

written by Drowning

3/18/2016 3 comments

In limbo

by Drowning 3/18/2016

written by Drowning

I’m not to sure what I feel but the longer I go on I think I’m less likely to act on my suicidal thoughts again I attempted twice but wasn’t really planned like don’t get me wrong I think about it most of the day and the last few days have been rather smooth in reality but things keep going smooth il see how things go not to say WHEN and that when will happen at some point thing will get bad again or something will happen that will get me thinking to act again but I hope I get the strength and courage to […]

3/18/2016 2 comments

by Drowning 3/18/2016

written by Drowning

3/18/2016 0 comment

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