why is it that simple stuff like my best friend texting me I miss you or my guy friend giving me a hug or my sister telling me she loves me bring tears to my eyes. I want to be able to tell them I’m leaving. I want to be able to tell them I am think about killing myself. But I can’t. I can’t eat. I can’t sleep. I cry and cut everyday. I’m dead on the inside. I’m not who I was. I’m gone it’s just my body now and I’m not sure how long that will be here.
I have been in a juvie/ mental hospital thing forth past week. I cut myself a little to deep and went to the hospital again. They decided to do something this time. Now that I’m back home I found out I am moving again come April. My mom said I fell in with the wrong group of people and she wants me out. Honestly I know I did but making me move again isn’t going to help. I’m done. Life just isn’t ment to be lived.
So it’s not really getting any better. I was informed by my exs bestfriend that he will be back Monday. Because of him the hole school knows how screwed up I am and I know when he gets back all the crap is going to start again. Its pretty bad that there is a group of people at this school that hang out because we are suicidal. But we all look normal so it’s not like we are the emos. The only one that hasn’t try to kill theirself is a guy named Austin that has for some reason taken a liking to me. But […]
I was one of those people that were always like killing yourself is stupid. I realize now that was because I had it pretty close to I prefect life. But I worked hard to do that too. I had all As and great friend. And I was so pretty. In my freshman year of high my mom told me we were moving. I didn’t want too. But would any teenager want to move 1,000 miles away from their life, friends, everything. I throw I fit but I knew I was making it harder on myself so I told her I would be good and go. […]