so ive been in this relationship for a couple months now, and here i thought i was finally getting the hang of it. I thought i could finally make her happy. And i was making her happy up until the last few days. then i fucked the whole think up by saying something stupid as i always do. except this time it was worse. I told her one of her exes (one who broke up with her and she still had feelings for) didn’t care about her. that he was using her for some reason. i had figured this because i thought he might suffer from […]
Why is it that people think that just because they don’t believe in God, an afterlife, or anything spiritual that it actually will not affect them when they die. I hear people everyday say that oh i don’t believe in afterlife so i will just cease to exist when i die. Â I personally believe in and worship the Christian God of the Bible and Jesus, Â not to shame those who don’t. I fully understand that there is a distinct possibility that I worship a God that isn’t real. And I’d be just as happy to cease existence as to go to heaven, almost more so. […]
Sometimes I wonder what it would feel like to not exist. Yes, of course I catch myself in the logic of it but haven’t you ever had a fantasy. Sometimes the soreness of my body annoys me just to the point of wishing I didn’t have it. but just being disembodied would be annoying too, just observing never able to interact. That’s when i wish i’d never been born, never been created, never been given a thought in the mind of God. Sometimes I just sit there, not even zoned out, just not even aware of the waking world to which I am pressed into […]