It’s a smile, a laugh, an ejaculation. Whatever it may be for you, the combination of neurotransmitters causing it will return to baseline and you will be sober, normal again, slowly but surely and without fail. The only rational way to preserve your sanity is to be 100% content with normal, sober existence which is unspeakably difficult for innumerable reasons that are beyond our control a huge majority of the time. You’re not 5 years old, I’m not going to go into why.
My innermost desire is to be at the very peak of pure, unadulterated happiness a human can experience and get beheaded right then. […]