Philosophically, I’m lower than the lowest low. My mind isn’t here anymore, I’m the most dangerous human being alive because even I don’t know what I’m going to do next. Every constructive, fruitful, positive outlook on life I have is crushed underneath the weight, the sheer gravity of our waking reality. This moment, is all there is. Time is meaningless, as is mathematics. These are nothing more than arbitrary measurements we use to quantify absolutely nothing, fleeting happiness in incoherent vortex of human brutality. Yeah, yeah get a goal, get motivated, work hard, work until your hands and calloused and bleeding, that’s the real treat, that’s the payoff.. Optimistic or Pessimistic, doesn’t. fucking. matter. None of it adds up, we’re screaming apes who can’t handle being called screaming apes. Anything you leave behind will erode, if great mountains are whittled down by wind, you and all you have done shall be obliterated, and forgotten too. Space has no thoughts, no feelings, no warmth or love, no meaning. Turning the Earth into a piss stained ant-hill, when the Earth kills us with natural disasters we have no right to protest or complain, we’re in debt. This species is in debt beyond any capability to atone by practical means, no, not judeo-christian fairy tales simply the nature of the beast, of humanity. Everything doesn’t have to have meaning, get off that power trip. But looking at that truth with cold, objective, dead-eyes only has so many outcomes. If nobody is accountable for anything regardless of being perceived as good or bad, or ever was, then mass shootings and crushing infant skulls are eating cotton candy, there’s no difference. What I perceive isn’t what’s out there, it’s just what I perceive. None of our views will ever be reality, not even scientists with accurate instruments. It’s already been proven those instruments only hold true for where in space-time it’s being used. Light behaves as a wave on occasion and a particle on others. She gave me love, I didn’t care. At their best humans are not cracked up to be anything of tangible importance.
Then just be happy right? You might as well be happy about it right? People who say things like that are viciously cruel, they mean well but they’re really doing no true good, spreading awareness of an existential fallacy. The human condition is byzantine, an unsolvable maze. If I could, I fucking would turn on my happy switch and leave it on. But in actuality non-depressed people get happiness from slow coming, hard earned activities that often fail to get you over the hump. Friends? Got those, but as are normal people, even they take raw energy to be with, energy I usually do. not. have. My tiredness is of the mind, not the body. No rest can make you love to get disappointed by the average human being walking around, probability sees you being annoyed at best irritated at worst by them.
He with the most toys when he dies, WINS. Modern culture, eastern western everywhere (2% exceptions) is SOILED in consumer object fetishism. Being enslaved by debt, overextending your mind. body. and soul to obtain a German automobile and a big house, with children of course, oh ha ha you need those. Preparing for your death scene where they’re all huddled around you waiting for your final impart of “Wisdom” Rubbish, Nonsense. Nobody knows a single goddamn bit concerning consciousness, detailing existence. Any person who says they’re enlightened is likely a cult leader abusing underage girls (do your homework). Saying you understand New York city because you have the telephone directory, foolish. You will serve, serve SERVE an institution, pour the best years of your life into a dehumanizing business at a bullshit job, the portion of your life seeking qualification for said bullshit job is a given, it’s fitting to not go into that bit considering how overlooked it truly is.
A lot of times being intelligent is a curse, you see the complete idiocy of human behavior, interaction day by day month by month year by year. Internally I’m always shouting BULLSHIT, IGNORANT, self-important, self righteous ANTS trying feebly to force their reality tunnel onto you, their coping mechanisms for the absurd believing without fail that they’re 100% infallible. Doubt, doubt everything. It’s all you have left.
Scatterbrained, but not one misguided point. Let it ride.
8 comments
One of the best things I’ve read in quite some time. Completely agree with what you said and the points you made about our meaningless existence.
Thanks man, it means a lot. Sometimes it all feels so surreal.
In my experience calling oneself intelligent is a pretty good clue for the opposite to be the case. Apart from that, if everything is meaningless why do you care so much about people thinking there is meaning to life?
Don’t you think that assumption might be a little stereotypical? This post wasn’t written by someone who’s not intelligent
Who said I care about what people perceive? It’s more you’re upset by my thoughts and had to make a passive aggressive comment about it. Which didn’t make any constructive criticism in the slightest, but that’s to be expected from users here. Saying you’re smart isn’t an indicator of not being so, but it can come off as arrogant at worst.
And believing in stereotypes is a huge indicator of being ignorant yourself, only a small mind can’t take reality as is without applying erroneous, inconsistent labels to it.
I could literally feel the anger radiating out of the words I were reading.
And my angst clashed with the amount of emotions and energy that are engraved in that post.
What you have written is amazingly accurate I believe. However that is simply my opinion.
You should look into literature
Just a thought
Mine usually comes out dark or sad, but it’s rare to find such raw ferocity in only a short paragraph of librettos such as yours.
Although I do wish to express how sorry I am that you feel this way. It’s an emotion I would not curse even my worst enemy with.
Thanks Scarlett, I’m glad someone could get my real intent behind writing this. Our imaginations are always limited by so many things, so much unrealized potential to create. I think I’m going to write a book in spare time, maybe that’ll help.
*claps feverishly* It’s completely exhausting to listen to and “accept” peoples platitudes when it’s all redundant bloviating. We are absolutely in a rat race and that takes any simplicity and enjoyment out of the lives we so cherish. Great post.