cutting and starving and breaking hearts and wanting to be accepted into someone elses heart
these are my only actions that i can comprehend
and they are all so hard to do
and i kinda want to die
but i wont
fear holds me back
and tori pushes me foward
and nelson holds me back again
so i just sit here
cutting
and not eating
for
another
week
Dear Feelings,
What the fuck.
Now is probably the WORST time for you to develop a crush.
Now is probably the WORST time to start feeling again.
I can’t believe you.You dirty piece of shit.Just as you were getting used to not having her around,
You pull this stunt.At 6:30 in the morning.
Maybe if I weren’t gay,this wouldn’t have happened.Maybe if I were asexual,none of this would happen.
Maybe if I were straight even,none of this would happen.
But nope.
I’m gay.
And my feelings seem to use that against me.
So there it is
The thing i’ve been trying to hold back for so long.
And […]
I was in a chatroom on social media
and i saw those words
‘i feel like dying’
shit
thats not what the website is for
so i tell them
‘call the suicide hotline’
they disregard me
a person message
‘stoop her’
stoop her?
im so confused now
‘stop her,shes my girlfriend’
shit
what am i supposed to do now?
so i set up a little personal package
dont die
suicidal numbers
truths
sigh
send
there
i fixed everything,right?
10 minutes
30
nothing
Wait–
Something!
‘Has she responded yet’
Oh
No
And now im going back
To that one place
That one place where i
pull my hair
and cant breathe
and feel like letting it all out
literally
just opening my mouth and letting my organs flow
a shake and heave
and start my same habit in a different place
and think about […]
”Take all of the courage you have left.Waste it on fixing all the problems that you made in your own head.”
I’m the kind of person that can have legacies
But instead I destroy them
And I’ll keep destroying them until I can create them.
My cat holds the universe in her eyes I wish I could say something poetic and inspiring But i’m such a dull person with thoughts that are so complex I cant even comprehend them Because my mind is so simple So where are these thoughts coming from? I asked my cat And she responded by showing me the blue universe in her eyes So I’ll let myself live until i can swim in her eyes,like pools of sparkling nothing.
Here it is,strangers
My 4 AM self hate,self pity,bullshit fueled story about how i have come to wreck my body and my life
and why i’m not going to kill myself over it.
My name is Daisy.No,I wasn’t born with it,but I prefer that over my dads choice of Jessica (My mom said my dad named me that after a porn star,but shes full of shit.)
I came into this world March 2,2000
Yeah,I’m 14 years old,still full of angst and meaningless arguments.
I grew up thinking I was normal,living in a house that looks like a hoarder who is almost recovered.I grew up thinking […]
and i could live
and breathe in a new life
but the bonds that are made of sweet roses
keep me happily grounded in a miserable existence
how much longer can i stay in this nest made of thorns?
how much longer can i be distracted by the few fruits of the tree?
the fruits keep me from creating thorns from myself!
the sweet bonds need to be broken,dont they?
ah,but the bonds that bring forth happiness must be broken by new happiness.
or,maybe just relief?
so what will it be,O Flower of Trash?
will you let the thorns of ‘Giver’ dig into your flesh?
Or will […]
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