I_Am_Irrelevant

I’ve posted here before (http://suicideproject.org/2013/04/failed-as-a-man/), and since, I’ve had a lot of time to think.

My situation has not changed, despite my efforts.  Frustrated, I tried explaining how I felt and thought to my psychiatrist.  As expected, he totally ignored my reasoning and started pushing anti-depressants again.  Annoyed, I pushed back.  I wanted him to recognize that my thought processes were valid – and if they he didn’t think they were valid, he should address them instead of just ignoring.  He flat out said “I was not thinking correctly” and essentially dismissed my input entirely from the therapy.

Needless to say, I’ve since stopped seeing him.

I’ve tried […]

I’m a 26 year old guy who has a paralyzing, crippling fear of intimate physical contact.  The idea of hugging makes me ill, and the thought of actually having sex is once of the most terrifying violations of my personal space I could imagine.  I hate myself for feeling like this, because while I am utterly terrified, I want these things more than life itself.

I’ve tried almost a decade of therapy and drugs with no effect.  The bottom line is always: “Just go out there and expose yourself to it.  It’s the only way to get used to it.”

How?  I don’t have any friends, and […]