Improperemphasis

There is always a reason cry, but most if the time we are not in the mood. When I’m not crying, I’m furious. Regret or rage; these are the defaults.

I need to be distracted.

I was great. I don’t mean good, but rather, expansive. I was broad scoped and wide minded, but then I fucked myself. I broke myself. I died years ago. I left a shell. A husk of pity, remorse, rage, and I am left smoldering in ash, reminiscent of, but never again as I was.

I get to imagine, but never to feel… and even these images are fuzzed, as my grand machine sputters […]

Today is much like tomorrow, and yesterday was so similar to today, and I already know next week as it was in fact the last

Its almost surprising, the

Last time I had a coherent thought was nearly two years ago and every day hence is and will, in fact, always be

Shit

I am alive, I am dead. I am one, wanting the other. I am both, wanting neither

Tomorrow perhaps, I could act

Act As If

Who once I  Was

Is

Who I still Am

But

Truthfully, reality does not forgive and it does not forget, do not act as if the stars pause their flight

To appease the wants of reacting molecules

the, chance I […]